3 Little White Lies We Tell Ourselves When Spending Money

by Jenny • May 28th, 2009

You might be perfectly rational when it comes to spending money. But juuuust in case you’re not, let me share a little story about my coffee habit, then tell you how it relates to the little white lies we tell ourselves when spending money.

A little backstory on my love for coffee and how I talk to myself like a crazy person

The other day I’m driving to work, rocking out in my mom’s white minivan (which is on long-term loan because I’m too cheap to buy a new car). I’m in a good mood. I approach Starbucks, which much to my chagrin AND my delight is directly en route to my office. My internal debate begins: “Should I go?” “No! Make a latte at work” “But I want Starbucks!” “You work at Google, land of the espresso machine! Don’t you DARE pull over.”

I veer off at the last minute. I DESERVE an iced latte. I’ve worked hard and it’s hot outside. I get to the register. I also buy a breakfast sandwich. My total comes to $6.40. “No biggie, I mean, I would have spent at least $15 on brunch with friends anyway.” “But it’s Tuesday!” “Fine – then I’ll make up for it over the weekend.” Do you think I made up for it that weekend? Definitely not. In fact, I rubbed it in my conscientious frugal-self’s face by visiting Starbucks three times in one day! As you can see in the diagram below (courtesy of Mint.com), I visited Starbucks 113 times in the last year. Ouch.

Jenny's Coffee Shop Spending Last Year

So back to my point. I get that I’m talking about Starbucks here. A small purchase, given that I could be impulse-buying flat-screen TVs. But I don’t think it matters – I think the white lies we tell ourselves are similar on purchases big and small. I’m sure everyone has different white lies, and I would absolutely love to hear yours in the comments. Below are three big ones of mine, along with some strategies for counter-balancing them.

3 Little White Lies We Tell Ourselves When Spending Money

White Lie #1: The Coupon Mentality – It’s okay that I spent $X, because I could have spent $Y.

Examples: It’s okay that I spent $8 at Starbucks this morning, because I could have spent $30 at brunch. It’s okay that I bought a $500 TV I didn’t need. It was on SALE.
Why We Tell the Lie: It makes us feel better. We spend money we probably shouldn’t, then reassure ourselves by focusing on how much more we COULD have spent in some hypothetical scenario.
How to Counter-Balance: When you notice yourself engaging in the “coupon mentality” – offer up a counter argument. On the Starbucks example, I’ve learned to remind myself “but you could have also made french press coffee at home for FREE.”

White Lie #2: I’ve Earned It! Over, and over, and over again.

Examples: I can buy this new pair of shoes – I’ve EARNED it. I’ve also earned an amazing meal, $50 worth in drinks with friends, and a new haircut. And my 3x per day Starbucks habit.
Why We Tell the Lie: Because we want to reward ourselves for working so hard! Totally justifiable. But how many times have you “earned” what you are spending money on? I am all for spending money on things that make you happy, and for celebrating your hard work. After all, we work so that we can enjoy our lives. Just be careful about how often you use this excuse. Have you really earned the 100th thing on your credit card statement or are you just getting carried away?
How to Counter-Balance: If you are working and saving money, that definitely earns you some splurge/reward purchases. Plan them in advance. Make sure that your “I’ve earned it” purchases aren’t impulse buys – that they are items or experiences you really want. Another tried-and-true trick that your parents might have used: count the value of the item you are considering in work hours. These shoes cost two hours; this TV costs one week. Is it still worth it? If so, and you have the money, go for it.

White Lie #3: It’s Fine that I Overspent – I will TOTALLY make up for it later.

Ahhh, the classic delayed payment approach. Hello, mortgage crisis! But alas, I digress…
Examples: I’ll order this $50 item online (during the week) and go out to one less dinner this weekend. Or I’ll go on a week-long vacation, then stay home for two weekends (without going out) to make up for it.
Why We Tell the Lie: It is the true procrastinator in all of us – why pay now or hold ourselves back today when we can just make up for it later? The catch here is that by the time “later” rolls around, we’ve either accidentally or purposefully forgotten about the IOU we made with ourselves. Convenient at the time, it inevitably catches up to you (and your credit card bill) later.
How to Counter-Balance: Work in the other direction – save your money first, then spend it once you’ve earned it. Don’t make promises to yourself that you know you won’t keep. When you find yourself saying “I’ll make up for it later” pause for a second and ask yourself again, “will I really?” If you are genuinely committed to making a trade-off in future spending for a purchase now, that’s great – just find a way to hold yourself accountable. Maybe even stick an IOU to your bathroom mirror as a reminder of how much less you should be spending over the weekend or on next month’s purchases.

Alright, your turn to fess up. What are some of the little white lies you tell yourself when spending money?

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70 comments

Categories: Money

http://ninetodone.com/ Irina I

Haha, awesome! The Mint.com graph was the best at making your point.

When I started working in January 2009, I had a compulsive shopping problem. I would go shopping in downtown SF as an after-work activity! Crazy, huh?

I had that problem where if you touch an item, you are more attached to it and absolutely have to have it. And so I would buy everything because I could not resist. Then I would put all those things away for a week, come back when I have calmed down and make the decision of whether to keep them or not. I would usually return most things.

Since that whole process would take up too much of my time, I eventually stopped doing it all together.

My new shopping philosophy is – if I like the item, I do not buy it. I come back 3 days later and if it still there, well then it is destiny. In most cases, I forget about it 5 minutes after leaving the store.
- http://www.lifeaftercollege.org Jenny
  
  Oh, good one! You touch an item, you buy it. I have so done that. I’m impressed that you held onto them for a week then actually returned them! My shopping white lie always used to be “It’s fine, I can always return it later.” Knowing that 9 times out of 10 I wouldn’t. I’ve gotten much better recently though.
  
  Congrats to you for stopping the over-shopping habit! I like your strategy on waiting – and so true that by the time your waiting window has passed half the time you don’t even want it any more.
  
  Thanks for the comment, Irina!
http://ninetodone.com/ Irina I

Haha, awesome! The Mint.com graph was the best at making your point.

When I started working in January 2009, I had a compulsive shopping problem. I would go shopping in downtown SF as an after-work activity! Crazy, huh?

I had that problem where if you touch an item, you are more attached to it and absolutely have to have it. And so I would buy everything because I could not resist. Then I would put all those things away for a week, come back when I have calmed down and make the decision of whether to keep them or not. I would usually return most things.

Since that whole process would take up too much of my time, I eventually stopped doing it all together.

My new shopping philosophy is – if I like the item, I do not buy it. I come back 3 days later and if it still there, well then it is destiny. In most cases, I forget about it 5 minutes after leaving the store.
- http://www.lifeaftercollege.org/ Jenny
  
  Oh, good one! You touch an item, you buy it. I have so done that. I’m impressed that you held onto them for a week then actually returned them! My shopping white lie always used to be “It’s fine, I can always return it later.” Knowing that 9 times out of 10 I wouldn’t. I’ve gotten much better recently though.
  
  Congrats to you for stopping the over-shopping habit! I like your strategy on waiting – and so true that by the time your waiting window has passed half the time you don’t even want it any more.
  
  Thanks for the comment, Irina!
http://www.lifewithoutpants.com/ Matt Cheuvront

I consider myself pretty frugal when it comes to spending, at least on material things – I rarely ever by things for myself – I’ve been rocking the same clothes for a couple years, stopped buying video games even though the male in me wants every new thing that comes out, spending like that has been limited.

BUT, when it comes to food, when it comes to coffee, I’m terrible (not that I’m some monster that has to eat – but I eat out WAY more than I should, when the lady and I are perfectly capable of whipping up something at home). Everyone has a vice, and coffee, like yourself, is mine. Iced coffee’s are like my crack – seriously. I’ve moved away from Starbucks and have made my way to McDonalds Iced Latte’s – which is an improvement, since a mega sized is only two bucks.

The problem? Now I go more often – I pass like three McDonalds on the way to work, more often than not, I’m stopping at one of them. It’s a sad state of affairs – but with everything, it comes down to you and breaking those habits, changing behaviors, which is, ehem…’inconvenient’ (shameless plug).

At least it’s good to know that I’m not alone – we can all be coffee addicts together. Maybe we need a tweetup support group for CAA (Coffee Addicts Anonymous).
http://www.lifewithoutpants.com Matt Cheuvront

I consider myself pretty frugal when it comes to spending, at least on material things – I rarely ever by things for myself – I’ve been rocking the same clothes for a couple years, stopped buying video games even though the male in me wants every new thing that comes out, spending like that has been limited.

BUT, when it comes to food, when it comes to coffee, I’m terrible (not that I’m some monster that has to eat – but I eat out WAY more than I should, when the lady and I are perfectly capable of whipping up something at home). Everyone has a vice, and coffee, like yourself, is mine. Iced coffee’s are like my crack – seriously. I’ve moved away from Starbucks and have made my way to McDonalds Iced Latte’s – which is an improvement, since a mega sized is only two bucks.

The problem? Now I go more often – I pass like three McDonalds on the way to work, more often than not, I’m stopping at one of them. It’s a sad state of affairs – but with everything, it comes down to you and breaking those habits, changing behaviors, which is, ehem…’inconvenient’ (shameless plug).

At least it’s good to know that I’m not alone – we can all be coffee addicts together. Maybe we need a tweetup support group for CAA (Coffee Addicts Anonymous).
http://www.lifeaftercollege.org/ Jenny

MATT!! I had no idea you were a fellow coffee addict! Wow. This is huge. Most days I justify it by saying it’s my one vice, and at least I don’t spend money on other things. Then I realize that even if that is true, I am still spending more than I would like to on coffee in a given month.

As a Starbucks stock holder (ahem, I own about $100 worth of shares, so that sounds fancier than it really is) I find it very interesting that you’ve switched to McDonalds! That has been the big trend lately, and at least you found a cheaper alternative to support your habit . I can imagine it must be hard not to stop when you pass by THREE on the way to work. You basically have to have discipline and a little debate three times each direction – that’s a lot! Definitely inconvinient.

Until we break our habit and the little white lies, I look forward to participating in CAA with you!
http://www.lifeaftercollege.org Jenny

MATT!! I had no idea you were a fellow coffee addict! Wow. This is huge. Most days I justify it by saying it’s my one vice, and at least I don’t spend money on other things. Then I realize that even if that is true, I am still spending more than I would like to on coffee in a given month.

As a Starbucks stock holder (ahem, I own about $100 worth of shares, so that sounds fancier than it really is) I find it very interesting that you’ve switched to McDonalds! That has been the big trend lately, and at least you found a cheaper alternative to support your habit . I can imagine it must be hard not to stop when you pass by THREE on the way to work. You basically have to have discipline and a little debate three times each direction – that’s a lot! Definitely inconvinient.

Until we break our habit and the little white lies, I look forward to participating in CAA with you!
http://positivelypresent.typepad.com/ Positively Present

Oh man… this is a great post for me, as I’m suffering from a serious problem of rationalizing my purchases. #1 and #3 get me the most…I love to convince myself that I’ve actually SAVED money by buying something. Absurd. I love how you “talk to yourself like a crazy person” — that line cracked me up. And you work for Google?! Umm, AWESOME.
- http://www.lifeaftercollege.org/ Jenny
  
  Well, I’m glad to know I’m not alone! I was wondering if maybe I was the only one who made this little rationalizations up. I’m sure there is a study (or ten) on the coupon mentality thing – where you convince yourself that you’ve saved money by buying something. It seems like the American Way! Thanks for the comment
http://positivelypresent.typepad.com Positively Present

Oh man… this is a great post for me, as I’m suffering from a serious problem of rationalizing my purchases. #1 and #3 get me the most…I love to convince myself that I’ve actually SAVED money by buying something. Absurd. I love how you “talk to yourself like a crazy person” — that line cracked me up. And you work for Google?! Umm, AWESOME.
- http://www.lifeaftercollege.org Jenny
  
  Well, I’m glad to know I’m not alone! I was wondering if maybe I was the only one who made this little rationalizations up. I’m sure there is a study (or ten) on the coupon mentality thing – where you convince yourself that you’ve saved money by buying something. It seems like the American Way! Thanks for the comment
http://www.thecentsiblelife.com/ Kelly

Just stumbled onto your blog and I was cracking up at the site of your graph.

Mine was 4 digits since it includes a hubby and occasional treats for our kids.

We went cold turkey for awhile, but we’ve been back at it every few days. It is such a tough habit to break.

It literally is the only thing we do for ourselves, and I always want to tell myself I deserve it. Uh no, self, I really deserve being out of debt and having more in savings thanks.

Sign me up for CAA!
- http://www.lifeaftercollege.org/ Jenny
  
  Hi Kelly – Welcome! First, thanks for stopping by . Second, I cannot even IMAGINE how large that Starbucks pie chart would be if I had a husband and kids. YIKES. The thought alone sends panic into my heart! That must add up so quickly. And yet I’m sure it’s a fun family experience to make the trip to Starbucks. (They should be paying us for this post, by the way). Congrats for going cold turkey for as long as you did – everything in moderation, I guess? And girl, you are signed up for CAA! Welcome to the club
http://www.thecentsiblelife.com Kelly

Just stumbled onto your blog and I was cracking up at the site of your graph.

Mine was 4 digits since it includes a hubby and occasional treats for our kids.

We went cold turkey for awhile, but we’ve been back at it every few days. It is such a tough habit to break.

It literally is the only thing we do for ourselves, and I always want to tell myself I deserve it. Uh no, self, I really deserve being out of debt and having more in savings thanks.

Sign me up for CAA!
- http://www.lifeaftercollege.org Jenny
  
  Hi Kelly – Welcome! First, thanks for stopping by . Second, I cannot even IMAGINE how large that Starbucks pie chart would be if I had a husband and kids. YIKES. The thought alone sends panic into my heart! That must add up so quickly. And yet I’m sure it’s a fun family experience to make the trip to Starbucks. (They should be paying us for this post, by the way). Congrats for going cold turkey for as long as you did – everything in moderation, I guess? And girl, you are signed up for CAA! Welcome to the club
http://ninetodone.com/ Irina I

You have no excuse, Jenny. There is an espresso machine (!!) at your work! So spoiled…:-)

I wish we had one at my office.
- http://www.lifeaftercollege.org/ Jenny
  
  I know!! But going to Starbucks makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside – it’s the experience as much as the coffee…listen to me! I’m so brainwashed. Tell your boss to buy an espresso machine for the office – it will make everyone so much more productive!
http://ninetodone.com/ Irina I

You have no excuse, Jenny. There is an espresso machine (!!) at your work! So spoiled…:-)

I wish we had one at my office.
- http://www.lifeaftercollege.org Jenny
  
  I know!! But going to Starbucks makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside – it’s the experience as much as the coffee…listen to me! I’m so brainwashed. Tell your boss to buy an espresso machine for the office – it will make everyone so much more productive!
http://www.raptitude.com/ David Cain

Guilty! I’m guilty on all three counts.

The best thing that has helped me, by far has been switching to a cash-only system. Watching paper money actually leave your possession provides a lot more of a psychological barrier to spending, especially when you know that only the money in your wallet is spendable. You’ll also always know exactly what your bank balance and credit card balances are, because they rarely change.
- http://www.lifeaftercollege.org/ Jenny
  
  Thanks for the comment David! I’ve heard great things about people who switch to cash-only, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. Part of it is also that I like to know exactly where my money goes (hence, the diagram above) without entering receipts into a spreadsheet. Glad to hear that it’s working out for you though! I can imagine it’s pretty powerful from the psychological standpoint you mention.
http://www.raptitude.com David Cain

Guilty! I’m guilty on all three counts.

The best thing that has helped me, by far has been switching to a cash-only system. Watching paper money actually leave your possession provides a lot more of a psychological barrier to spending, especially when you know that only the money in your wallet is spendable. You’ll also always know exactly what your bank balance and credit card balances are, because they rarely change.
- http://www.lifeaftercollege.org Jenny
  
  Thanks for the comment David! I’ve heard great things about people who switch to cash-only, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. Part of it is also that I like to know exactly where my money goes (hence, the diagram above) without entering receipts into a spreadsheet. Glad to hear that it’s working out for you though! I can imagine it’s pretty powerful from the psychological standpoint you mention.
http://www.benjamintwilcox.com/ Benjamin

I have come up with a solution to the coffee problem.

Say that you saved your money and did not buy a latte in the morning. You will save the three or four dollars spent on a latte that morning, but you might be tired and therefore unproductive in the first hour of the morning.

If you BUY the latte, you have three or four dollars less in your wallet. But with the extra boost, you will actually do more work than the groggy, non-caffeinated version of yourself.

money saved on coffee <<< money made from hour’s worth of work

Maybe this is just my version of lie #3

Seriously though, I really like this post and it has made me second guess excuses I use to trick myself into spending.
- http://www.lifeaftercollege.org/ Jenny
  
  Hey Benjamin! Thanks for stopping by . I like your justification – coffee = greater productivity. As my Dad said to me this morning, we all need one guilty pleasure – better that it be a cheap one!
  
  Someone else read this post and said that coffee was her reward for getting out of bed in the morning – I love it! Even though we might little-white-lie to ourselves a tiny bit to justify the expense, in the end, if it truly improves our happiness and quality of life then I am in full support!
  
  Glad you liked the post, and hey – if we’re all at least aware of the little white lies we tell, that’s all that matters. THEN we can decide whether to actually change our behavior or not.
http://www.benjamintwilcox.com Benjamin

I have come up with a solution to the coffee problem.

Say that you saved your money and did not buy a latte in the morning. You will save the three or four dollars spent on a latte that morning, but you might be tired and therefore unproductive in the first hour of the morning.

If you BUY the latte, you have three or four dollars less in your wallet. But with the extra boost, you will actually do more work than the groggy, non-caffeinated version of yourself.

money saved on coffee <<< money made from hour’s worth of work

Maybe this is just my version of lie #3

Seriously though, I really like this post and it has made me second guess excuses I use to trick myself into spending.
- http://www.lifeaftercollege.org Jenny
  
  Hey Benjamin! Thanks for stopping by . I like your justification – coffee = greater productivity. As my Dad said to me this morning, we all need one guilty pleasure – better that it be a cheap one!
  
  Someone else read this post and said that coffee was her reward for getting out of bed in the morning – I love it! Even though we might little-white-lie to ourselves a tiny bit to justify the expense, in the end, if it truly improves our happiness and quality of life then I am in full support!
  
  Glad you liked the post, and hey – if we’re all at least aware of the little white lies we tell, that’s all that matters. THEN we can decide whether to actually change our behavior or not.
http://toxic-brit.blogspot.com/ TOXIC BRIT

I think that mint.com is a great site. I lets me track all my purchases, I just wish it would block any unnecessary ones! That would be an amazing site! I’m lucky that I drink tea non-stop and my work (at least at the moment) provides free tea and coffee. Just need to start taking my own sandwiches to work and I’ll be on the path to being a millionaire by the time Im 75…
http://toxic-brit.blogspot.com TOXIC BRIT

I think that mint.com is a great site. I lets me track all my purchases, I just wish it would block any unnecessary ones! That would be an amazing site! I’m lucky that I drink tea non-stop and my work (at least at the moment) provides free tea and coffee. Just need to start taking my own sandwiches to work and I’ll be on the path to being a millionaire by the time Im 75…
http://www.lifeaftercollege.org/ Jenny

Toxic Brit – ooooh, I admire your tea-drinking habit! I just cannot get myself to switch over even though I know it is cheaper and healthier. Perhaps the fact that you are British has something to do with it?

Your comment about being on the path to millionaire status by the time you are 75 cracked me up!! Hilarious.
http://www.lifeaftercollege.org Jenny

Toxic Brit – ooooh, I admire your tea-drinking habit! I just cannot get myself to switch over even though I know it is cheaper and healthier. Perhaps the fact that you are British has something to do with it?

Your comment about being on the path to millionaire status by the time you are 75 cracked me up!! Hilarious.
MoneyEnergy

Hilarious description of the decision-making processes involved!:) You’re amazingly frugal-conscious, love that pie chart! Lie #3 reminds me of my “no-spending-days” and the criticism that if you don’t spend on one day, so what, because you might just overspend the next day. I was able to get away with not spending a dime yesterday, but so what, because today I might need to get a new hair blow-dryer! Overall, though, no-spending-days must help. They will train you and bring down your average. Also, it wasn’t painful to not spend $$ yesterday, I stayed at home working, so it can only be good!
http://http//www.getmoneyenergy.com MoneyEnergy

Hilarious description of the decision-making processes involved!:) You’re amazingly frugal-conscious, love that pie chart! Lie #3 reminds me of my “no-spending-days” and the criticism that if you don’t spend on one day, so what, because you might just overspend the next day. I was able to get away with not spending a dime yesterday, but so what, because today I might need to get a new hair blow-dryer! Overall, though, no-spending-days must help. They will train you and bring down your average. Also, it wasn’t painful to not spend $$ yesterday, I stayed at home working, so it can only be good!
http://www.lifeaftercollege.org/ Jenny

Money Energy – Thanks for the comment! I am very impressed with your no-spending day on a Saturday! Wow. That’s a great idea – I’ve tried no-spending days but never set a concrete goal around them. Seems like it would be helpful to have a target, like three “no spending” days each week.

That said, here’s to being frugal AND enjoying our lives and hard-earned cash!
http://www.lifeaftercollege.org Jenny

Money Energy – Thanks for the comment! I am very impressed with your no-spending day on a Saturday! Wow. That’s a great idea – I’ve tried no-spending days but never set a concrete goal around them. Seems like it would be helpful to have a target, like three “no spending” days each week.

That said, here’s to being frugal AND enjoying our lives and hard-earned cash!
http://prprescriptions.com/ James Walker

Guilty as charged on #2. I convince myself that I’ve earned all sorts of things. I need to work on marrying “what I’ve earned” to a real budget.
- http://www.lifeaftercollege.org/ Jenny
  
  James – I love what you wrote: short, sweet and really helpful! It’s not that we don’t deserve to treat ourselves, it’s just that we do have to be aware of what we’re spending and tie it back to a realistic budget or general spending cap. I say this as I sip a Starbucks latte…
http://prprescriptions.com James Walker

Guilty as charged on #2. I convince myself that I’ve earned all sorts of things. I need to work on marrying “what I’ve earned” to a real budget.
- http://www.lifeaftercollege.org Jenny
  
  James – I love what you wrote: short, sweet and really helpful! It’s not that we don’t deserve to treat ourselves, it’s just that we do have to be aware of what we’re spending and tie it back to a realistic budget or general spending cap. I say this as I sip a Starbucks latte…
http://smallhandsbigideas.com/ Grace Boyle

So I have this thing I say with my girlfriends, “We deserve it.” It’s usually said around times when I’m staring at an adorable pair of shoes, a cocktail early in the afternoon, or like you said, a delicious latte.

I’m Italian and lived in Italy so strongly believe in indulgence (but within reason). I think being slightly frugal and mindful about your money is important, but that it’s okay to have the latte every once in a while or indulge in a great pair of shoes because I HAVE worked hard.

However, like you mention Jenny it’s really easy to find yourself in a slippery slope with these financial white lies. I mentally “pinch” myself to remind me to keep in check, while also still enjoying certain pleasures in life. Thanks for sharing, this is a great post. I’m sending it to all my debt-ridden friends
- http://www.lifeaftercollege.org/ Jenny
  
  Hi Grace! Yes, funny how the times we REALLY deserve something are when shopping or considering an expensive purchase! Friends are so good at colluding too – “you TOTALLY deserve that” or some variation. I love what you said about indulgence (but within reason). It is definitely okay to indulge; even my mom, who is super money-conscious, encourages me to spend my money on things I will enjoy. That is why we work, after all. Thanks again for your comment!
http://smallhandsbigideas.com Grace Boyle

So I have this thing I say with my girlfriends, “We deserve it.” It’s usually said around times when I’m staring at an adorable pair of shoes, a cocktail early in the afternoon, or like you said, a delicious latte.

I’m Italian and lived in Italy so strongly believe in indulgence (but within reason). I think being slightly frugal and mindful about your money is important, but that it’s okay to have the latte every once in a while or indulge in a great pair of shoes because I HAVE worked hard.

However, like you mention Jenny it’s really easy to find yourself in a slippery slope with these financial white lies. I mentally “pinch” myself to remind me to keep in check, while also still enjoying certain pleasures in life. Thanks for sharing, this is a great post. I’m sending it to all my debt-ridden friends
- http://www.lifeaftercollege.org Jenny
  
  Hi Grace! Yes, funny how the times we REALLY deserve something are when shopping or considering an expensive purchase! Friends are so good at colluding too – “you TOTALLY deserve that” or some variation. I love what you said about indulgence (but within reason). It is definitely okay to indulge; even my mom, who is super money-conscious, encourages me to spend my money on things I will enjoy. That is why we work, after all. Thanks again for your comment!
Katya

Hi Jenny! I love this!!! Sign me up for the CAA I feel guilty every morning walking to get my cup of coffee from Starbucks, but I just can’t help it. Sure I can make that cup of coffee at home, but by the time I get to the office it would get cold (my excuse). I also eat breakfast when I get to the office, so I need to have coffee there. So a cup of freshly brewed coffee from Starbucks across the street from the office sounds much better. I actually calculated how much money I’ve spent on coffee last year and I was determined to change the habit this year and I am on my way… slowly. I started by downsizing from Grande cup to Tall – I would ask for a Tall size in a Grande cup so I would still get my usual size cup, but pay less $$. I then got a Starbucks Gold card as a Christmas gift that gives a discount on all purchases. That saves about 15 cents per cup of coffee. My latest improvement is BYOC (bring your own cup) – I got a cool Russian-themed coffee mug at recently opened Starbucks in Moscow and it now saves me another 10 cents when I get to show it off at Palo Alto Starbucks! So by the end of the year it should save me around $65. I don’t think I can ever give up coffee, but I feel much better now knowing that I’ve done something to bring my expenses down a bit. Now if I just need to figure out how to apply similar rules to other spending categories…
- http://www.lifeaftercollege.org/ Jenny
  
  Katya – Don’t worry, you were one of the charter members of the CAA! I still remember when I worked at the start-up with you and we would go to Starbucks every afternoon. The worst was when I’d go twice in one day!
  
  I love your various tricks to save on Starbucks without having to eliminate it completely: bringing your own (Russian-style!) coffee cup, buying the gold card, and downsizing your order. Great strategies!
  
  I think the really important point about your comment is that life and money does not have to be ALL or NOTHING. Being aware of your spending, and doing little things to adjust so you feel better and more conscious about it is what really counts.
Katya

Hi Jenny! I love this!!! Sign me up for the CAA I feel guilty every morning walking to get my cup of coffee from Starbucks, but I just can’t help it. Sure I can make that cup of coffee at home, but by the time I get to the office it would get cold (my excuse). I also eat breakfast when I get to the office, so I need to have coffee there. So a cup of freshly brewed coffee from Starbucks across the street from the office sounds much better. I actually calculated how much money I’ve spent on coffee last year and I was determined to change the habit this year and I am on my way… slowly. I started by downsizing from Grande cup to Tall – I would ask for a Tall size in a Grande cup so I would still get my usual size cup, but pay less $$. I then got a Starbucks Gold card as a Christmas gift that gives a discount on all purchases. That saves about 15 cents per cup of coffee. My latest improvement is BYOC (bring your own cup) – I got a cool Russian-themed coffee mug at recently opened Starbucks in Moscow and it now saves me another 10 cents when I get to show it off at Palo Alto Starbucks! So by the end of the year it should save me around $65. I don’t think I can ever give up coffee, but I feel much better now knowing that I’ve done something to bring my expenses down a bit. Now if I just need to figure out how to apply similar rules to other spending categories…
- http://www.lifeaftercollege.org Jenny
  
  Katya – Don’t worry, you were one of the charter members of the CAA! I still remember when I worked at the start-up with you and we would go to Starbucks every afternoon. The worst was when I’d go twice in one day!
  
  I love your various tricks to save on Starbucks without having to eliminate it completely: bringing your own (Russian-style!) coffee cup, buying the gold card, and downsizing your order. Great strategies!
  
  I think the really important point about your comment is that life and money does not have to be ALL or NOTHING. Being aware of your spending, and doing little things to adjust so you feel better and more conscious about it is what really counts.
Catherine

Well, I feel like the odd duck out since I decided to stop drinking any form of caffine about a year ago due to it causing me to have mood swings etc. I do miss Starbucks coffee so I definitely understand the need for CAA! Maybe I can be a member supporter? I DO love this post especially the commentary to yourself, it makes for an entertaining read! We’re all a little bit crazy!

I grew up in a very frugal family and it has continued with me. Having a husband that did not have to grow up frugal has created some interesting moments for me in my adult life so far. Here are some “little white lies” that come up in a relationship:

1- My husband likes to make expensive purchases: tech gadgets, truck, go kart, big screen tv, etc. His rationale is “I rarely buy anything so when I do it just happens to be big so it works out eventually.”

2- He also likes to say when he makes any purchase, “I’m doing my American duty and helping to stimulate the economy.” He said this even before all the current problems with the economy made the news haha!

3- Since I am frugal, he likes to encourage me to buy things for myself, maybe to justify his purchases? (Yes, I know this is probably very different from most relationships lol!) But, once I make one purchase (usually clothes) at his encouraging, telling myself he said I should, it’s like a domino effect and one becomes many! Then I cut back but it is a cycle.

4- Lastly, this is just something others have told me in reference to my husbands large purchases. Apparently, I’m supposed to keep tabs on how much he spends and then that’s how much I get to spend over time.

Really, overall I think we do fine but it’s definitely a bunch of gives and takes that we have been lucky to have balance out over time. Good luck to all y’all CAA members, you can do it!
- http://www.lifeaftercollege.org/ Jenny
  
  Catherine – Thank so you so much for your great comment! First of all, wow – congrats on quitting the coffee habit. I would be honored to have you as the CAA #1 member supporter .
  
  I can’t even imagine how much more complicated managing money will be when married. I go back and forth with my own little white lies, I can’t imagine trying to navigate and compromise on someone else’s too! I love the “I’m stimulating the economy” one – that’s great. I’m glad to hear that you and your husband have a system working – it sounds like you actually balance each other out quite well
Catherine

Well, I feel like the odd duck out since I decided to stop drinking any form of caffine about a year ago due to it causing me to have mood swings etc. I do miss Starbucks coffee so I definitely understand the need for CAA! Maybe I can be a member supporter? I DO love this post especially the commentary to yourself, it makes for an entertaining read! We’re all a little bit crazy!

I grew up in a very frugal family and it has continued with me. Having a husband that did not have to grow up frugal has created some interesting moments for me in my adult life so far. Here are some “little white lies” that come up in a relationship:

1- My husband likes to make expensive purchases: tech gadgets, truck, go kart, big screen tv, etc. His rationale is “I rarely buy anything so when I do it just happens to be big so it works out eventually.”

2- He also likes to say when he makes any purchase, “I’m doing my American duty and helping to stimulate the economy.” He said this even before all the current problems with the economy made the news haha!

3- Since I am frugal, he likes to encourage me to buy things for myself, maybe to justify his purchases? (Yes, I know this is probably very different from most relationships lol!) But, once I make one purchase (usually clothes) at his encouraging, telling myself he said I should, it’s like a domino effect and one becomes many! Then I cut back but it is a cycle.

4- Lastly, this is just something others have told me in reference to my husbands large purchases. Apparently, I’m supposed to keep tabs on how much he spends and then that’s how much I get to spend over time.

Really, overall I think we do fine but it’s definitely a bunch of gives and takes that we have been lucky to have balance out over time. Good luck to all y’all CAA members, you can do it!
- http://www.lifeaftercollege.org Jenny
  
  Catherine – Thank so you so much for your great comment! First of all, wow – congrats on quitting the coffee habit. I would be honored to have you as the CAA #1 member supporter .
  
  I can’t even imagine how much more complicated managing money will be when married. I go back and forth with my own little white lies, I can’t imagine trying to navigate and compromise on someone else’s too! I love the “I’m stimulating the economy” one – that’s great. I’m glad to hear that you and your husband have a system working – it sounds like you actually balance each other out quite well
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http://Www.lifeschocolates.com/ Sam

Jenny: As other commentors have also told you, you’re not alone! I too have a Starbucks “problem,” and it’s even more dangerous now that I’m working in NYC. Anyway, I think your analysis is right on. There are so many ways we try to justify spending $ on the things we don’t need. I guess there are worse habits than overpriced coffee (like designer handbags?) but we still have to be careful, set limits and stick to them. Great post!
- http://www.lifeaftercollege.org/ Jenny
  
  Thanks Sam! So true that there are worse habits than coffee – purses and shoes top the list! For me, I’m super aware of how much I spend on clothes and big things, but I brush all the small purchases under the rug as no big deal. Problem with that is that they can sneak up on you! I think it’s exactly what you said – setting limits and being aware (without overly restricting ourselves).
http://Www.lifeschocolates.com Sam

Jenny: As other commentors have also told you, you’re not alone! I too have a Starbucks “problem,” and it’s even more dangerous now that I’m working in NYC. Anyway, I think your analysis is right on. There are so many ways we try to justify spending $ on the things we don’t need. I guess there are worse habits than overpriced coffee (like designer handbags?) but we still have to be careful, set limits and stick to them. Great post!
- http://www.lifeaftercollege.org Jenny
  
  Thanks Sam! So true that there are worse habits than coffee – purses and shoes top the list! For me, I’m super aware of how much I spend on clothes and big things, but I brush all the small purchases under the rug as no big deal. Problem with that is that they can sneak up on you! I think it’s exactly what you said – setting limits and being aware (without overly restricting ourselves).
http://jillbarnett.typepad.com/ Jill

Coffee habit?! I’m guilty, though my vice is Dunkin’ Donuts (a bit cheaper than SBUX). I pass 3 DD during my 6 mile commute to work, but I always go to the same one. There is no drive thru, but they know me by my CAR. My coffee is ready by the time I make it in the door. The counter guy told me this week, “Forget AA dude, you need Dunkin Donuts Anonymous!” I spend $10 a week on coffee, which is better (I guess) than one overpriced but delicious margarita, but over the course of the year I could really buy a lot with that money! And I have no excuse–I’ve gotten myself “off the coffee” twice and went back

In better news, today I spotted a gorgeous patent leather lipstick red handbag. $200, and I had a 10% off coupon. I put it down and walked out the door! Jill Barnett FTW! haha! Great post though–I’m guilty and spend way too much money. I’ve never been a good saver so thank goodness for my my husband!

As for managing money when you get married…we have a joint account to which our earnings are direct deposited. We also each have personal accounts and have set up weekly auto-transfers–our “personal allowance” money. It works really well for us and we’ve been doing it this way for most of our marriage (4.5 yrs), so you’ll figure it out
http://jillbarnett.typepad.com Jill

Coffee habit?! I’m guilty, though my vice is Dunkin’ Donuts (a bit cheaper than SBUX). I pass 3 DD during my 6 mile commute to work, but I always go to the same one. There is no drive thru, but they know me by my CAR. My coffee is ready by the time I make it in the door. The counter guy told me this week, “Forget AA dude, you need Dunkin Donuts Anonymous!” I spend $10 a week on coffee, which is better (I guess) than one overpriced but delicious margarita, but over the course of the year I could really buy a lot with that money! And I have no excuse–I’ve gotten myself “off the coffee” twice and went back

In better news, today I spotted a gorgeous patent leather lipstick red handbag. $200, and I had a 10% off coupon. I put it down and walked out the door! Jill Barnett FTW! haha! Great post though–I’m guilty and spend way too much money. I’ve never been a good saver so thank goodness for my my husband!

As for managing money when you get married…we have a joint account to which our earnings are direct deposited. We also each have personal accounts and have set up weekly auto-transfers–our “personal allowance” money. It works really well for us and we’ve been doing it this way for most of our marriage (4.5 yrs), so you’ll figure it out
http://www.lifeaftercollege.org/ Jenny

Jill – you cracked me up with the line about Dunkin’ Donuts knowing you by your CAR – how hilarious! That’s when you really know you are a regular, I guess. Especially when the counter-guy tells you to attend DDA – LMAO! That said, $10/week on coffee doesn’t sound too bad.

As for the restraint on the purse purchase (despite coupon in hand) – KUDOS!! That’s huge. I admire the sheer will-power and self-control that must have taken! Sounds like you and your husband have a great system set-up for your personal finances and “allowance” – I always envisioned setting it up that way too…one day
http://www.lifeaftercollege.org Jenny

Jill – you cracked me up with the line about Dunkin’ Donuts knowing you by your CAR – how hilarious! That’s when you really know you are a regular, I guess. Especially when the counter-guy tells you to attend DDA – LMAO! That said, $10/week on coffee doesn’t sound too bad.

As for the restraint on the purse purchase (despite coupon in hand) – KUDOS!! That’s huge. I admire the sheer will-power and self-control that must have taken! Sounds like you and your husband have a great system set-up for your personal finances and “allowance” – I always envisioned setting it up that way too…one day
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Steve in W MA

One mental trick that I have used to break myself of impulse spending and the Latte factor and eating work out at lunch factor was to set myself the goal (on a workday) of getting to work and taking *all* of my earnings home with me. That’s my financial goal when I go to work: To get every cent that I am earning and take it home, not to “drop” any at the stores and cafes downtown.

Over time, and in combination with using cash envelopes for my food, entertainment, and gas spending, this has made a big difference and has made the act of spending money seem like an unusual occasion.

The problem this brings up is that, by and large, a big portion of my existence had to do with purchasing stuff and shopping and all the thoughts that go with it. If you get to the point where you only spend money at the grocery store once a week (or less) and it’s *cash out of an envelope*, you find yourself confronted with what to do with a lot of extra free time and mental space that was previously devoted to a) thinking about shopping and (b)thinking about money in general.
Steve in W MA

One mental trick that I have used to break myself of impulse spending and the Latte factor and eating work out at lunch factor was to set myself the goal (on a workday) of getting to work and taking *all* of my earnings home with me. That’s my financial goal when I go to work: To get every cent that I am earning and take it home, not to “drop” any at the stores and cafes downtown.

Over time, and in combination with using cash envelopes for my food, entertainment, and gas spending, this has made a big difference and has made the act of spending money seem like an unusual occasion.

The problem this brings up is that, by and large, a big portion of my existence had to do with purchasing stuff and shopping and all the thoughts that go with it. If you get to the point where you only spend money at the grocery store once a week (or less) and it’s *cash out of an envelope*, you find yourself confronted with what to do with a lot of extra free time and mental space that was previously devoted to a) thinking about shopping and (b)thinking about money in general.
Steve in W MA

Most people with “Latte Factor” don’t just have a coffee habit, they have a “go to the cafe habit”, where the cafe stop is just a habitual way to relax by changing venues or even to potentially socialize a bit and see some different people and maybe even have a short conversation (who knows?).

You can start by bringing a thermos of coffee from home. Then whenever you get the “urge” for that Starbux or McDee’s coffee, pull out the thermos, pour a cup, and either stay where you are or go for a little walk with it.

Within a month you’ll have that cafe habit licked, plus you slowly will adjust and find ways to compensate for the social component you are missing by going out and spending money.

By and large, coffee is really just coffee and it doesn’t have to cost more than about 30 cents a cup. Eventually going for the thermos and snacking on a home-packed cookie or other snack will be just as second nature as dropping $5 at the coffee shop is now
Steve in W MA

Most people with “Latte Factor” don’t just have a coffee habit, they have a “go to the cafe habit”, where the cafe stop is just a habitual way to relax by changing venues or even to potentially socialize a bit and see some different people and maybe even have a short conversation (who knows?).

You can start by bringing a thermos of coffee from home. Then whenever you get the “urge” for that Starbux or McDee’s coffee, pull out the thermos, pour a cup, and either stay where you are or go for a little walk with it.

Within a month you’ll have that cafe habit licked, plus you slowly will adjust and find ways to compensate for the social component you are missing by going out and spending money.

By and large, coffee is really just coffee and it doesn’t have to cost more than about 30 cents a cup. Eventually going for the thermos and snacking on a home-packed cookie or other snack will be just as second nature as dropping $5 at the coffee shop is now
http://www.greyumbrella.com/ christi

i just found your blog and it's wonderful. one of our 2010 goals is to revamp our spending habits. i'll be coming back for sure.
http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thanks so much Christi! I really appreciate your kind words – glad you
stumbled upon Life After College. I look forward to keeping in touch!
http://www.suedepumps.net Suede Pumps

That’s the great article! I just pass ‘n read it, two thumbs up!
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