Me with my Dad on our way to breakfast after the race.

Me and my dad headed to breakfast after the race.

I would be remiss if I didn’t write the obligatory “big personal athletic moment as metaphor for life” blog post after finishing my triathlon. So here I go.

Contrary to the story I made up for many years that “I could never do a triathlon because the swimming would kill me,” yesterday I completed the See Jane Tri event – a 400-meter swim, 11-mile bike and 3-mile run. And lo and behold I am alive to tell about it, as evidenced by this post.

But there was a moment, within 30 seconds of starting, that I honestly didn’t know if I was going to make it to the other side of the lake shore, let alone the finish line. I seriously considered quitting the race, even after everything I’d put into preparing for it.

Eels in the lake were the least of my concerns

Part of what I love about big athletic events are the months of training leading up to them. In fact, when I did the marathon last year (another impossible feat knocked down!) I found many of the long runs to be more enjoyable than the event itself – even the 23-miler I did alone, without any of the water stops or fanfare of race day. I appreciate the structure of a training schedule, the incremental “wins” week after week, and the commitment to completing a goal that I know will expand my beliefs about what I am mentally and physically capable of.

Where am I going with this? Given how much I love training, I was shocked yesterday when I got in the water for the first event and panicked. Months of swim training flew right out the window, as if I hadn’t even put on (or looked at) a swimsuit in the last ten years.

Seconds after the starting whistle blew, limbs started flying and I started inhaling lake water. I was immediately out-of-breath (mostly due to anxiety), struggling even to dog paddle. Panicked, I tried swimming the way I’d practiced, but between trying to keep my eyes on the buoy and the other swimmers (both not advisable), my head created resistance, my legs sunk too low, and my arms started doing all the work.

I could not relax, and I was really scared. I thought about quitting and that made me sad. Some way, some how, I would do this. No one said it had to be fast or pretty. So I backstroked my way around the course, calmed by focusing on the expansive empty blue sky amidst the commotion of other swimmers around me. I emerged from the water close to last. I didn’t care. I smiled and ran to my bike just like the rest of them.

I reflected on the harrowing swim experience during the bike ride (glorious) and wrote the “takeaways” for this blog post in my head during the run (exhausted). With that ladies and gentlemen, I bring you:

5 Things I Learned from Panicking Finishing my Triathlon

  1. Remember to breathe (even if every other breath leaves you chugging lake water). Sometimes the accomplishment is not speed or grace – it is literally just surviving. Finishing. Remembering to breathe.
  2. When Plan A fails, and you’re too panicked to find Plan B, trust your instincts. Had I done a backstroke since taking swim-lessons as an eight year old? No. But nothing else was working. Did I care that I felt ridiculous swimming (in what appeared to be a casual leisurely swim from afar) on my back while everyone else powered forward on their stomachs? No. Not enough to quit.
  3. It is all about the story you tell yourself. During a race (just as in life), there is a continual story playing in my head. It’s almost like an ESPN commenter but in first person. “I am strong. I trained for this. I know what I am doing. I am panicked. I want to quit. But I am not a quitter.” The narrative goes on. In my opinion, the ONLY way to successfully finish a physically grueling event is to narrate a mental story of positivity and success. I learned a great deal about this in the book The Non-Runners Marathon Trainer. When running, there is a huge difference between saying “my legs feel like bricks” versus “I am doing fine, and this is easy.” It matters. The negative thoughts will show up, but it is important to replace them with something positive. For a great book on the psychology of success, read Maximum Achievement by Brian Tracy (a new favorite of mine).
  4. Don’t half ass something just because it looks hard. This is a subset of the mental narrative point: don’t give up on something based solely on the anticipation of hard work. So many women would approach hills during the run and start walking before they even got there. They expected it to be hard, so they gave up before even trying. This is exactly why when I see a hill, I turn ON my burners. I run faster. Hills are mental. They are not that much harder – they just look like they will be. Same goes for life – when you see a challenge, put more heart into it. That’s where it counts. You’ll get to the top both ways, but feel a hell of a lot better about yourself by taking the second approach.
  5. Pay for the Day. Remember how good it feels. Rinse and repeat. My dad has a phrase, “pay for the day,” that refers to building good exercise habits. Think of it like a small entrance fee (exercise) you pay for each day (to ultimately live a long, healthy life). It doesn’t matter what time of day you exercise, so long as you “pay” at some point (of course you get some days off – but you catch my drift). Let me tell you something – “paying for the day” by doing a triathlon first thing Saturday morning feels fantastic. Nothing boosts my happiness and self-confidence like exercise, particularly training and completing a big event like that one. Figure out what your currency is – that vital activity that makes every day better (even if you experience resistance to start at times) – and remember how good it feels to pay for the day.

With that, I give another item on my life checklist a big, fat, hard-earned CHECK.

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  • Reading this post made me want to break out in song, singing Bette Midler's "Wind Beneath My Wings"...

    "Did you ever know that you're my hero? You're everything I wish I could be."

    Ok, that sounded like a smartass comment, but really it's true! I'm super jealous that you did a triathlon. DAMN GIRL! That's truly impressive and something I've always dreamed of doing, but never thought I would have it in me. Because like you, I too fear the swim...and the chaffing that follows when jumping on that bike in a wet suit. Alright, TMI. Sorry.

    Congrats though Jenny! And sorry my congrats are well overdue, but you'll have to forgive because this is the first time I've heard about your amazing athletic feat. Big hug. :)
  • Chris Mulligan
    Congrats again!

    My uncle just did a similar tri (.5 mi, 15mi, 3.1mi I think) last Saturday out in Maryland. He's done a bunch recently, and said he actually does most of the swim on his back. So don't feel bad about switching, just start training on your back for next time! :)
  • Monica, Megan, Blake, Royce and Sheema - thanks so much for the congrats! I have to say...I've taken the last three days off working out - EXCEPT for a swim on Monday to prove to myself that I knew how - LOL :)

    Monica - you'll have to let me know if you ever try that push up - sounds tough!

    Megan - good to know that eels aren't a threat :) That was mostly just my irrational fear of swimming in open bodies of water - I doubt this lake even had them!

    Royce - no plans to do another one (yet) but you never know! giving myself a little break for now :)
  • Congrats on finishing the marathon, and great advice!
  • Congratulations on finishing, that is really awesome Jenny. Being able to relax under pressure like that and find a way to just push through is a really, really good quality to discover you have right?

    So what's your plan going forward, are you addicted to the training and competition thing now? Planning another one? Or are you glad to have checked it off your list and now you're moving on to other things?
  • Congratulations! Number four on your list is something I am trying to improve on everyday. Even if something looks hard (at work and in my life) I need to start giving it 100% of my effort. Thanks for the inspirational post!
  • Megan
    Despite the common thought, eels are quite peaceful creatures. I once, on accident, touched a white eel with black spots when I was snorkeling in Kauai. All it did was look at me. Nothing more. It just sat there, halfway out of it's hole, and stared at me. If you are a threat to them, it is likely they will be a threat to you, but it is also likely that those lake eels meant no harm to any of the swimmers. (:
    And congratulations again Jenny!!
  • Congratulations of your finish! You should be so proud of yourself for completing this race! You are amazing!

    Tonight in my kickboxing class I was asked to do a kind of push up that scared the hell out of me. It looked like the the hardest thing I've ever done. And I gave up. I looked the instructor dead in his face said I'm not doing it. And I didn't.

    Now, I'm still super tired from my workout but I'm starting to wonder if I couldn't have at least done one or top of those crazy push-ups.

    Again, congrats on your super awesome achievement.
  • Thank you all SO much for the incredibly kind words of support. I read your comments while waking up this morning (I know, bad that I wake up by reading emails and Google Reader in bed). It was just such an amazing way to start the day - thank you so much for the congrats - it really adds icing to the proverbial cupcake to be able to share with all of you!!

    And now for a few specific thoughts:
    @Nate, Dani, Marcelo, JD - thank you so much!

    @HighClassLowIncome - good luck next week! I've heard that is a really fun race :D

    @MoneyEnergy - totally - just showing up is more than most people even allow themselves to attempt (whether it's a triathlon or grad school or any other big, scary goal). You should try a tri! (And let me know if you do, of course)

    @Helen - wuhooo! glad I wasn't the only one...huge congrats to you for finishing too!

    @Eve - thanks so much! Big move sounds exciting - where to?

    @Elisa - I love the idea of sprinting at the end...I try to do that too. Even if it's only so that the people at the finish line think I'm some really fast, powerful runner (instead of the "I run slower than your grandma walks" pace I usually maintain). I also try to smile, as though the whole thing was just soooooo easy...ha ha :D

    @Doniree - Good luck with your yoga teacher training! That is huge...and a goal of mine too (that I am also scared of). I definitely want to hear how it goes - I love your momentum, girl!

    @Ben - Blushing over here! Thanks for leaving such a nice comment - you might really like a tri since it's got such a diverse training schedule. But if not, hey - regular visits to the gym are great too! You are up to amazing things elsewhere, my friend :D

    @Valerie - So true that we often expect the results first - or at least after minimal effort. In the book I mentioned, Brian Tracy says something to the effect of, "You have to pay up front, and you have to pay in full. Only then can you enjoy the rewards of your hard work." So true!

    @Ryan - Thanks! And hey, since my grandma always comes up when I'm talking to you, it might interest you that I was using her old road bike - and the gears didn't even work! I just keep it on one gear the whole time and I'm golden. What can I say - I'm also too cheap/frugal to pay for a new bike.

    @Grace - Thank you so much! I had my celebratory RVC this morning :D I think sometimes people forget that there is just as much value in NOT being first or the winner - it really is personal, and it is all about the process, like you said.

    @Jason - An iron man, huh? AMAZING! I've had slivers of thoughts about doing one at some point, but after the swim experience this weekend I'm just not sure. Never say never though! Best of luck with yours - what an awesome goal to strive for.
  • Great job, most of the battle is mental as you trained for the physical. I do not want to re-write your goals as much as make you think about not selling yourself short. How would you like to say "Hi, I am Jenny Blake, Iron-woman"? That is my goal by the time I turn 40. I have 4 years left or three triathlon seasons. I remember laughing when I put down a goal of Marathon and now it seems so easy in hindsight.

    I know from others that Ironman is a mental race, because if you have trained, you know you can physically do it. This also relates to life in all areas.

    Philippians 3:14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
  • So inspiring and awesome to read, Jenny! Congratulations. Your story is very human and real, which is why even though I haven't completed a triathlon (yet) I can relate.

    I'm really happy to hear you didn't quit. The process in challenging situations like this are so important. In the end, you want to finish and complete it not necessarily be the first and the winner. Priorities are different but this seems like a very large success for you. I would give you a high five and lots of cupcakes for this :)
  • J-Money,

    It's so awesome you rocked this. Congrats. I've always wanted to do one, but don't want to pay for a bike so I'll stick to mud runs and 5Ks for now.

    Two things I can attest to...

    1.) Dominating Hills - They're such a great opportunity to make up ground. Everyone can go fast running downhill.

    2.) The feeling after you finish a race. You finish so early and you just have an awesome feeling the entire rest of the day!

    R
  • Congratulations on finishing.

    I like your approach of turning it on for the hills.
  • Wow Jenny, you're an inspiration to us all.

    Even if you came in last overall, you're still a winner, much less bombing in the swimming portion.

    I really like the sentiment of "paying for the day." Many of us do the opposite in life: hope the results come first and then pay for it later (meaning live life later). Anyway, great post and I am extremely proud of you! :)
  • Jenny!

    You seriously never fail to amaze me!
    Every time we talk, I feel like you are up to your next great advancement in life. I love it!

    I am completely jealous of your ability to complete a Tri. I am in the gym regularly but avoid cardio like the plague :) It seems like lately everyone I know has been catching the running fever and doing some sort of 5k, sprint, tri or marathon. I guess I need to catch the bug and jump on the wagon!

    Let's catch up this week!

    Congrats again for being ridiculously awesome!
  • Great, great perspective! I absolutely love this post and will probably have some of my own 'takeaways' and lessons when I complete my yoga teacher training program in November.

    Congratulations!
  • First of all, I am so proud of you for finishing what you set out to do and doing it with a smile. If nothing else that is an inspiration to anyone trying something new. Kickass job!

    Secondly, I was just commenting on someone else's blog - you know why you are supposed to sprint at the end of a race? You'd think it's to get the best time by shaving off a little at the end. But really, it's because at the end you see the finish and psychologically think "I'm done!" and slow down. By forcing yourself to sprint it brings out something deep down within you that you didn't even know you had to finish strong. I love that little tidbit of information. :)
  • Eve
    p.s. WAY TO GO!
  • Eve
    Another great post, Jenny! Clearly, this can be applied to a lot more than sports, too. As I sit here attempting to pack for a big move, I'm daunted by all of my possessions on the floor. But just like those hills, I realize that it's more mental than actual. Thanks!
  • Really great post! I love how you took your experience and expanded it to create a post all about some great life advice!
  • Hi...Jenny
    It's Marcelo from Brazil.
    Congratulations and sure I'll share this to my students and my Skype VIP classes.
    Great article about not quitting, keep going, don't give up..
    It was one more important lesson for me.
  • Helen
    Thanks for sharing, Jenny. I had nearly the exact same experience with the swim segment -- panic, momentary thoughts of quitting, and backstroking nearly the whole 400 yards -- and I'm a little relieved to hear that I wasn't the only one. :)

    And thank god I didn't know until now that there were eels in the water!
  • Awesome thoughts, that part about having the right story to tell yourself is right on. Congrats on finishing! It's a great metaphor for other long-term trials, too, like grad school! I definitely agree about the "it doesn't have to be pretty" part. Sometimes success is just surviving, just like 80% of the time it's just about showing up. This makes me feel like training for a triathlon myself!:)
  • Congratulations on finishing!

    I'm doing the SJ Rock n Roll next Sunday. I haven't been training that well in the past few weeks so I'll have to keep your 5 tips in mind in the next week.
  • Great job, Jenny - I'm proud of you!
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