Enough.

I really, really needed this today, so thank you. I'm trying not to be so hard on myself lately, but it's easier said than done. It's great to be reminded that we need to stop stressing out about our future so much and just live in the moment.

This is a powerful message you have shared here. Most of the time, the force that's keeping us from doing what needs to b done are our very selves. Unless we become aware of this, we are jeopardizing the opportunity of every moment.

yeay! popped in briefly and so happy you are reminded (much like I!) to give up conversations around not being good enough – go you!

Sara – so glad this post was helpful for you today. I know that I am often
so focused on what I want to achieve or accomplish that sometimes I forget
to appreciate how far I've already come. That ambition is what makes us
successful, but it's no fun if we can't also enjoy and appreciate it! Have a
great day

Thanks Walter – I really appreciate you stopping by. SOOO true that most of
the time the force that holds us back is ourselves – we place our own limits
or ceilings and get stuck in our heads instead of getting out there in the
world and taking bigger risks. As one of my coaches once told me, “In
awareness we have a choice.” So I love what you said about becoming aware of
when we do this – so that we can start replacing limiting thoughts with more
positive ones. Easier said than done, of course!

Thanks so much Chinarut! And yes – these are definitely conversations we
should give up – I've found with a simple counter-phrase: “Enough.” When we
think limiting thoughts and we notice ourselves doing it? Just say “enough”
and move on! (Takes practice, of course). Always great to hear from you – I
hope all is well!

I think you're right. There isn't a perfect solution and driven people often struggle with feelings of inadequacy.

I think being driven and being content is more of a balancing act than a continuous state of life. In dry/hard seasons of life, we need to intentionally find contentment regardless of our circumstances. If we base our identity on our accomplishments and successes, those successes become the measuring stick we beat ourselves with when things plateau. During those times, being content is a beautiful thing.

It's a little like the difference between country life and city life. Sometimes we need the pace of the city and sometimes we need the calm of the country.

For me, I lean more towards being driven. I often need to remind myself to calm down. I haven't quite perfected the balance yet. But hey, that's part of life. Living and learning.

Jenny,

Thanks for re-posting this blog entry. I am new to the blog, so I would not have seen it otherwise.

Although it has taken me a really long time to understand the importance of living in the present, I think I'm finally starting to get how I should go about life in this way. I've realized how it is largely a waste of time to focus on the past or the future.

I'd guess that 80% of the thinking we do about the past or the future doesn't serve us. Once you've learned from what you did in the past, it is time to move on. And while I think it's good to have a general idea of where you want to go in the future, the world simply changes way too much, too fast to plan very far ahead in the future. For example, just think about how blogs, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, etc. have completely changed our lives in the past five years.

I'm getting to the point where I am mainly (but obviously not totally) just focusing on the next day. And frankly, I'm REALLY enjoying it. My attitude is “dominate the day.” Just do whatever you need to do that day and make the absolute most of it. And then get up and do the same the next day. A good friend once told me, “When you take care of the minutes, the hours take care of themselves.”

In doing this, I heavily rely on my instincts, gut feelings, etc. I've started to become comfortable just letting the universe guide me. This has felt a lot better and seems a lot more productive than trying to plan everything out in detail for the next six months, year, etc.

Daily meditation has really been a big help in my shift towards living a lot more in the present. It makes me feel good just being.

Regarding being driven, being constantly unsatisfied, and having feelings of inadequacy, I definitely struggle with this, too. I agree that balance is the key. I definitely do not want to give up being driven, because I think I absolutely love it.

However, I also definitely don't like constantly feeling unsatisfied. There is something wrong with basically ignoring the fact that you have achieved a goal, because you are already focused on the next one.

I have no clue if this is a good idea or not, but here is the best suggestion I can think of right now for dealing with the problem of high achievers not being able to feel good about what they are accomplishing.

Two high achievers will need to partner up. Both people will need to keep a journal of the great things they are doing. Let's use this post as an example. Jenny could write down:

“Re-posted the 'Enough' blog entry and got lots of great responses.”

The journal entries wouldn't have to be this significant. They could include things that are much “smaller.”

Each person would write down things in the journal for a month. I'm just guessing, but maybe there would be an average of 10 or 20 items on the list.

And then each person's job would be to share and celebrate all of their achievements in a ~30 minute phone conversation with the other person once a month. The person listening would almost be a coach encouraging as much celebrating as possible.

Perhaps one person would share their monthly achievements on the 1st of every month. And the other person would share their monthly achievements on the 15th of every month.

This would only take 1 hour per month. And it seems like a great way of focusing on all of the day-to-day things you have achieved instead of waiting to celebrate that one big moment that might happen every year or two.

This could allow high-achievers to maintain that strong drive while also taking the time to smell the roses along the way.

Aw, thanks Eve! RIGHT. BACK. ATCHA!

Don't wait to live.. I just love that… it's too easy to forget though!

Greg – thank you so much for the incredibly thoughtful comment! I'm so glad
you stumbled upon Life After College, and I really love the peer support
approach that you've outlined around appreciating accomplishments. I
completely agree that so often people sail right past their achievements and
focus much more heavily on what they don't have, or what isn't going well.
This is a travesty! We have so much to celebrate – big and small – just as
you said.

I also LOVE your comment about “dominating the day” – what an awesome
mentality! Seems like it would really help you focus on getting the most out
of every single day – I am definitely going to try that mantra myself .
Let me know if you try the peer support method around recognizing small
achievements – I'd love to hear how it goes! You might also like this post I
did around peer support for health/fitness goals:
http://www.lifeaftercollege.org/2008/11/03….

Have a fantastic weekend!
Jenny