A Little Slice of Heaven: 20 Life Lessons I Learned on the Rogue River

If pictures speak 1,000 words, I’ll let the first one in this post express the total calm and beauty I experienced on my river trip last week. I loved every unplugged second of it. Great food & guides (thank you Echo!), great people, great yoga, and endless little moments of laughter, connection and perfect weather.

But the best part of all was letting myself roam completely free for an entire week. No to-dos, no make-up, no emails, no gadgets, no worries. It was truly a vacation for the soul.

Rogue River - Southern Oregon

Rogue River - Southern Oregon

Which brings me to this blog post. You know how much I love metaphors as life lessons (some favorites: domesticating jaguars, lifting the oars, panicking during a triathlon & living a sandboxed life); I couldn’t help but gather 20 gems from my week-long river rafting trip (with my friend Julie’s help during our drive home). I’ve only just scratched the surface – I’m sure there are dozens (if not hundreds) of other little life lessons that could be gleaned from the experience, so feel free to add others you can think of in the comments!

20 Life Lessons I Learned on the Rogue River

  1. Contrast makes the world go ’round. The crazy, hectic lives we lead back home made relaxing on the river incredibly fulfilling. Also: squatting to pee and finding a dying bee in my mop of river-dreadlocked hair gave me an entirely new appreciation for toilets and warm showers. And this, my friends, is why contrast makes the world go ’round. Highs and lows, happiness and sadness, the comforts of city life versus life stripped to the essentials are what keep things exciting.
  2. It’s a lot harder to paddle back upstream than it is to just keep moving forward. No matter how much you may want a do-over for the rapids in your life, you’ve got to just keep moving. What’s done is done. Find your place back in the current and let the river take you forward. And if you are going to paddle upstream, make sure it’s for a good reason (like helping a friend), because it’s a helluva lot of work.
  3. Sometimes you have to cut your baggage loose to get unstuck. On Day 3 one of the boats got caught in an “aggrivated perch” on a challenging Class 4 rapid where the force of the water held the boat locked against a giant rock. The only way for the two guides in the boat to set it free was to literally start cutting bags loose since they were anchoring the boat in the wrong direction. Finally, after freeing a few big bags and the coffee maker, the guides were able to wrest the boat free from the rocks. What baggage do YOU need to cut loose in order to keep moving?
  4. Sometimes you stand up with a stick in your ass. Literally. Have a good laugh and carry on with your day. This is probably TMI, but after peeing in the woods one day, I stood up and realized there was a stick caught between my cheeks. Stop laughing…it happens, okay?!?! I had a good hearty laugh and realized it was oh-so-metaphoric for all those days we wake up on the wrong side of bed. You might not have put the stick there, but you do have the power to take it out.
  5. There’s no point in suffering from heat-stroke on a hot day if you have an entire river below you. JUMP IN! Sometimes I think we let ourselves get so hot, sweaty and miserable in our lives that we forget the answer to our problems can be right beneath our feet. For a day on the river, there’s nothing a jump into refreshingly cold water can’t fix. For a day off the river, look for those obvious opportunities to let loose or feel better. They are everywhere if you just open your eyes and look around.
  6. Sometimes the unexpected swim (after falling out of a kayak while going through a rapid) is even better than the ride you planned. Live for the unexpected adventures in your life. Let your mistakes be a part of the fun. Sometimes they are the best part.
  7. In moments of panic, don’t jump ship right before a big rock. One of the kids on our trip was planning to go through a rapid on the inner tube. Right as he approached a big rock (that the tube would’ve bounced off of), his eyes got wide and he panicked. Instead of gripping the tube and hoping for the best, he jumped out and was left to fend for himself as a swimmer through the rocks. Our big goals almost always require confronting big rocks – hold on tight and have faith that things will work out.
  8. Stake out the big rapids in life and plan your course before going through. For the biggest rapids on the trip we parked the boats, hiked up to see what was going on, and went over how the guides would paddle through. A little planning went a long way toward reducing uncertainty and making sure everyone felt comfortable.
  9. On the other hand, sometimes the more you think and plan, the harder something becomes. If you hesitate for too long at the top of a cliff jump (or natural water slide), you’ll scare yourself out of it. Just go!
  10. People are fascinating if you get curious. Take the time to get to know people. Ask what they do for fun, what lights them up, what the best part of their day was. People are so much more interesting than the answer to the routine “so, what do you do?” question — stretch yourself and make the effort to really get to know people. It’s worth it.
  11. Itching mosquito bites only makes them worse. As tempting as it may sometimes be, don’t engage or encourage unwanted things or people in your life. Let them be.
  12. It’s okay to let go sometimes and let someone else do the work. For a good majority of the trip, I sat high up on one of the oar boats in a spot that we dubbed “the princess perch.” It was piled high with bags, and I used the inner tube as a pillow. For once, I didn’t care that I wasn’t the one paddling – I was perfectly happy to relax and let someone else take charge. Mission Relax & Slow Down = SUCCESS!
  13. If you always sleep in the comfort of your tent, you’ll miss the stars. I slept outside on the last night under the glow of moonlight with zillions of stars poking through the leaves of the trees, and it was absolutely gorgeous. Sure, I got a few DOZEN mosquito bites, but it was well worth it.
  14. Friends are like life jackets. Sometimes you don’t realize how important they are until you fall into the water and they’re there to keep you afloat. So be good to your friends even when you don’t NEED them. Especially when you don’t need them.
  15. Keep your tent zipped if you want to keep the bugs out. Don’t get sloppy about who and what you let into your life. Better to keep your tent zipped than to sleep with ants and mosquitoes at night. That said, also be open to letting new people and experiences into your proverbial tent.
  16. Being unplugged – truly, 100% gadget-free unplugged – is like giving your brain a clear, calm beautiful day on the river. Emails and commitments are like little pebbles that pile up in your brain. Obsess over them and they become big rocks that cause big rapids. Make sure you give yourself frequent breaks from the pebbles of your life.
  17. Get the right people on your boat (or your river trip). Whether you’re spending a day or a week (or more) with people, the ride will be much more enjoyable (and your paddle crew more effective) if you pick the right people up front. Our trip was awesome, largely because of the people and river guides who were on it with us.
  18. You can do all the planning in the world and you’ll still forget to pack your river pants. I had a packing list. I had a checklist. I started packing a week in advance. I laid all my clothes out before neatly packing them in my duffel bag. And guess what? I still somehow managed to leave one of the most important items of the trip at home. Sigh. Thankfully, my friend Julie forgave my stupid error and let me borrow her extra pair of pants.
  19. Getting there is half the fun. The road-trip up to Oregon took about nine hours each way, and my friend Julie and I laughed, vented, shared and played little games (like taking turns listing proudest life moments) through redwood forests, small towns and big curving mountain roads. It was incredible, and I’m so glad we left ourselves extra days to enjoy the ride there and back.
  20. Life on the river is not about what you do, how you look or where you live. It is about who you are, how much fun you’re having, and the connections you make with nature, with yourself, and with the people you are surrounded by.

Special thanks to Susan Fox, an incredible life coach and yoga teacher, who organized the trip and led two daily yoga sessions with the group. There is something magical about doing tree pose while staring at a river bank lined with lush green trees, moving into triangle and looking up to see a bald eagle soaring across the blue sky, flipping into waterfall pose (a backbend) with the sound of rushing water in the background, then later ending with savasana (corpse pose) by relaxing onto the hot rocks warmed by sunlight as we finished our practice. The yoga (and entire trip) was truly a little slice of heaven.

Namaste. :)

River Rafting - Group Photo

Group Photo (that's me in the middle doing Bakasana...not easy on a downhill slope!)

***

P.S. Hat tip to Grace Boyle for recommending the AWESOME book I started reading on the trip. Shantaram is a 900+ page door-stopper novel/memoir about a recovered heroin-addict who escaped over the front wall of an Australian prison (after being committed for armed robbery) who then fled to Bombay where he set-up a free medical clinic in the slums and started working for the Indian mafia. Crazy, right?! Grace also sent me an overview video from the author, Gregory David Roberts, a fascinating man whose book is a total page-turner must-read about life, love, regret and redemption.

P.P.S. Two great (free!) e-books came out while I was gone – check ‘em out:

  • HannahCB

    Sounds like you had a great trip – and awesome pictures :) I like the points you make (the stick in the ass one made me laugh). I think there's life lessons to be learned in most situations, you just have to be open to them.

  • http://katingiro.tumblr.com/ Kat

    A lot of these points are things I've been thinking about in other contexts recently, particularly:

    1. Contrast makes the world go ’round. — Our minds really do benefit from having the balance of both sides to things. We all love vacation, but it only “works” because the rest of the time we have to work. If you're on vacation (or idle in general) for too long, it becomes its own trap, even though most of us would say we'd like to stay on vacation forever. It's funny how sometimes what we really want and need isn't what our brain is telling us we want!

    10. People are fascinating if you get curious — I don't know the particulars about your trip, but I think this is why I've heard about a lot of people who met their future spouses on Outward Bound trips and things like that. It's one of relatively few contexts where we ask people the truly interesting questions when we meet them, and get to know them through an intense experience, instead of the usual “getting to know you” script that it's so easy to fall into at cocktail parties, networking, etc. Sometimes it's easy to think everyone is boring, when we're just asking the wrong questions!

    Glad you had a great trip :)

  • Denise Dauler

    Thanks for sharing Jenny! Kristen and I thoroughly enjoyed reading all 20 lessons and they are all right on the mark! So happy we met you and we will continue reading your blog for enjoyment, reminders and inspiration! xoxoDenise

  • http://www.lifeschocolates.com sameve

    Amazing advice! I totally understand and appreciate your love of metaphors as life lessons, and these are some fantastic lessons. I'm so glad you had such an amazing time on this trip, it was definitely well deserved! Thank you for sharing your river wisdom with all of us :)

  • http://twitter.com/Jeeka2 Jessica Smith

    You are such an inspiration! I woke up with a “stick up my butt” this morning and realized that I do have all the power to take it out. You have made my day!

  • http://doniree.com/ doniree

    Oh, this is all amazing! I want to print this list out and tape it to my mirror :) I learned last week also that contrast makes the world go round – for me, that's input and output. I'm a producer. A writer. A creator. And sometimes I need to remember to allow myself the INPUT and take a break from the output. I love how your contrast of nature vs. urban allowed you do realize the same. Also – can I borrow that book??

  • http://noordinaryrollercoaster.com Ben

    Aaaaaand I'm still picturing you with a tree sticking out of your butt.

  • Cindy

    Jenny,
    This is awesome, as was meeting you on the trip. I personally loved talking to people without the sense that you'd be interrupted any second by a text beep or cell phone ring. We actually often carried conversations through to the end, which was very satisfying — both to be listened to as well as to hear another person's story. It rarely happens in our daily existence.

  • http://www.CailenAscher.blogspot.com CailenAscher

    Love the life metaphors that came to you during your trip! Thanks for sharing : )

    -Cailen
    author & lifestyle designer

  • http://twitter.com/mmbizon mmbizon

    This is awesome, Jenny! As a fellow metaphor-lover, I really got a kick out of what you came up with. They're all so true. I'm going on vacation next week, so I'm hoping to revisit a few of these lessons … namely No. 16: Being unplugged – truly, 100% gadget-free unplugged – is like giving your brain a clear, calm beautiful day on the river. Thanks for sharing what you learned, and I'm glad it was such a wonderful, inspiring vacation for you!

  • Julie

    I'm so thankful we got to share this experience together, and that we met so many fabulous folks! It's great when the vacation you've planned for so long is everything you hoped it would be and more. Here's to the first annual river-rafting yoga trip!!

  • http://doniree.com/ doniree

    That makes me jealous!

  • http://twitter.com/dmitril Dmitri Leonov

    Brilliant :)

  • http://ItStartsWith.Us Nate St. Pierre

    #7 works for me – In moments of panic, don’t jump ship right before a big rock. I'm kinda working through that right now. I'm so glad you had this time to relax and be yourself and have fun, Jenny. I love hearing about it, too. :)

  • http://www.interninc.com Caitlin

    Fantastic advice in an entertaining format. Gives me a whole new appreciation for nature! (Good call about the mosquito bites, by the way!) My favorite tip is #5, its a good reminder that if you don't like your situation, change it! There's always a big blue pool to jump into somewhere- you just have to go out and find it.

  • http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

    Thanks Hannah! I debated posting about the stick in the ass…you know – not so sure what it does for personal branding (hah) – but figured, what the heck?! It's a great life lesson :) So true that there is something to learn in most situations – you just have to be open. Love it!

  • http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

    Thanks so much for your comment, Kat! I am constantly reminding myself about the same things you said regarding vacation – if that's all I did, I 'd probably go crazy! All thought I will say re-entering the digital world this week has been tough. I think I'm in a small post-vacation slump!

    “Sometimes it's easy to think everyone is boring, when we're just asking the wrong questions” — SO true!! I've really tried to pay attention to how I show up when networking – usually my disinterest is because I'm not asking the right questions, just like you said.

    Thanks for your great comment – have a fantastic week!

  • http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

    Aw, thanks so much Denise! It was so fun to see your name pop up as a comment on my blog :D I absolutely LOVED meeting you and Kristen on the trip, and really look forward to keeping in touch! Have a great week :D

  • http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

    Thanks Sam! I always love your posts about turning experiences into life lessons too. They are truly our best teachers! Hope all is going well with your job search – big hugs! xoxo

  • http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

    Aw, thanks so much Jessica! Your comment totally made MY day! So happy we could do that for each other :D I hope you had luck today getting rid of the stick…I know sometimes it's a work in progress! My friend Julie and I just had another great laugh about that experience. Sometimes we just can't help but stand up with a stick in our butt! So right now, for example, I'm self-medicating with wine and chocolate. :D Have an amazing week!

  • http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

    DONI!!! I always love your comments. And it means so much to get to relate to you on a yoga-nature-being level because your posts ALWAYS inspire me to connect with my practice and with myself more.

    I love what you said about balancing input and output – what a great way to think about it!

    And yes – you can totally borrow my copy of the book, although it got drenched in river water and is now somewhat warped. I like to think it gives it more character :)

  • http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

    LMAO – I know. I figure it's now forever etched into my “personal brand” (yak). Hey! There goes that stick in the butt blogger! Hahaha.

    P.S. I just want to squeeze you right now!!! Seeing your comment just gave me the HUGEST smile.

    P.P.S. HUGE CONGRATS ON THE LITERARY AGENT!!! OMG. I am jumping up and down squealing for you. Can't wait to follow your process – you will absolutely get a book deal – I have no doubt about it.

  • http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

    Hey Cindy!

    It was SO wonderful meeting you (and Kevin and Aria) on the trip. Carrying conversations to the end – I hadn't thought about it that way before, but it's so true. It really did feel great to have four days to get to know people, never feeling like we were in a hurry to be anywhere or do anything.

    I'm really looking forward to keeping in touch – have a great week!

  • http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

    Thanks Cailen! Just checked out your website and love that you are an author & lifestyle designer – looking forward to keeping in touch!

  • http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

    Aw, thanks Dmitri! Glad you enjoyed the post :)

  • http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

    Thanks so much! Enjoy your time unplugged – it is SUCH an amazing gift. And I look forward to hearing any life metaphors you pick up on vacation – it's a fun game to try to come up with them :D Thanks for stopping by!

  • http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

    ME TOO!!! And so fun to see you comment on my blog. So that must mean you aren't even sick of me after 20 hours of driving, 4 days on the river, and the fact that I'm sitting directly across from you?! Score. BBFFs for life ;-)

  • http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

    Nate – so glad you agree with #7! My dad countered by saying that sometimes you should jump ship before a big rock (if you are on the Titanic, for example), but I think for the most part our biggest successes are right around the corner from our dips and lowest moments. Those are the times we really get to prove ourselves, even in spite of the fear, and really grow in order to make big dreams happen. I love that you are going for it with everything you've got. I see success as absolutely inevitable for you :)

  • http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

    Thanks Caitlin! It's so fun to hear the different tips people resonate with – glad you liked the one about mosquitos. It's so true! Sometimes I continue commitments or interacting with someone just to be nice, but it doesn't do either of us any good in the long run. And yes – there's usually *something* we can do to change our situation, even if it's as simple as a little self-indulgence from time to time! For example, I'm working my way through emails with some wine and chocolate – makes it a whole lot more fun :D

    Thanks so much for stopping by – have a great week!

  • Samantha Foodedu

    What a great post Jenny! I too unplugged and went and got married and went to Jamaica. It is amazing the peace that I had from not worrying about the computer and from just enjoying each moment. I mentioned your post in my last post–you describe the clarity that one gets from vacationing so well.

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    Thanks so much Samantha! HUUUUGE congrats on getting married!! I bet your trip to Jamaica was awesome – so great that you could spend some time unplugged too…with your new hubby :) And thanks for the shout-out — have a great weekend! :D

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  • Vikki

    Looks beautiful! I just got back from vacation myself and being free from the cell/internet was a relief! I was away and apparently I am still employed and nothing blew up! Love your other points too! I especially like #10 … Really being interested in others lives rather than asking a script of questions for the sake of holding a conversation can make new and future encounters more fascinating!

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