I used to always scoff at people who said I should try online dating because “[They had] met so many friends that way.”
How does that work, exactly? How does one delicately let the other down, then blaze the buddy trail instead? Or if neither is interested, is there really enough juice to form a friendship?
It begs the eternal hotly-debated question: can guys and girls really just be friends? (For what it’s worth, I vote YES.) It’s a mature move for two people who don’t mix romantically to decide that friendship would be a worthy consolation prize.
In December, with OKCupid’s help, I orchestrated a 4 dates in 4 days “Date-a-palooza” experiment (brilliant term coined by Elisa). Part “bite the bullet and get out there” and part “research for my next book”, one of the four outings was a second date with a guy named Jack.*
*Names have been changed to protect the awesome.
I wasn’t myself. We could both tell it wasn’t a fit. While dropping me off at the end of our date, Jack had the cajones to say, “I’m going to call this one at friends” and left it up to me to make the next move.
One thing led to another and now my Online Date Turned Kick-Ass Friend, who just so HAPPENS to be a multiple Emmy award winning film producer (I saw those golden statues of glory with my own two eyes), graciously volunteered to film and edit my book trailer. Gratis. (Save for regular Chipotle dinners. I offered yoga, coaching or a motivational speech in return, but he hasn’t taken me up on any of the above…YET). Now THAT is what I call serendipity served with a giant heap of generosity.
I learned two important lessons from Date-a-Palooza: my third time attempting online dating was not the charm (romantically). It is simply not for me. At least not now, and especially not with all of this book excitement building and my attention focused obsessively on my baby.
Second: when we let our egos go (as Jack did when he parlayed our failed date into a friendship), wonderful new relationships form. We get to know each other without the strain of trying to impress, woo or audition. We get to just be ourselves.
P.S. Look mom, I made a friend
Book Trailer Videos – I Need Your Help Deciding!
There are two cuts of the book trailer below — the first is 2:50, and the second is 2:00. For those of you with five minutes to spare, will you watch them both and vote in the comments on which one I should put on the Amazon page for the book?
The first has more narrative from me and more answers from college grads. Both were filmed in SF in front of the Bay Bridge and at Stanford University. The lovely Melissa Foster Cook was on Flipcam for the outtake at the end. Hope you like ‘em!
Life After College Book Trailer – Video 1: Long Cut (~3 minutes):
Learn more about the book on the Book Website or at Amazon. Want the nitty gritty behind-the-scenes details? Sign-up for my monthly(ish) Inside Scoop mailing list. For the book tour: if you want to join and/or request a stop, please fill out this form. I look forward to meeting many of you on the road!