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“Failed” Online Date Leads to Friendship…and a Book Trailer

by Jenny • February 7th, 2011

I used to always scoff at people who said I should try online dating because “[They had] met so many friends that way.”

How does that work, exactly? How does one delicately let the other down, then blaze the buddy trail instead? Or if neither is interested, is there really enough juice to form a friendship?

It begs the eternal hotly-debated question: can guys and girls really just be friends? (For what it’s worth, I vote YES.) It’s a mature move for two people who don’t mix romantically to decide that friendship would be a worthy consolation prize.

In December, with OKCupid’s help, I orchestrated a 4 dates in 4 days “Date-a-palooza” experiment (brilliant term coined by Elisa). Part “bite the bullet and get out there” and part “research for my next book”, one of the four outings was a second date with a guy named Jack.*

*Names have been changed to protect the awesome.

I wasn’t myself. We could both tell it wasn’t a fit. While dropping me off at the end of our date, Jack had the cajones to say, “I’m going to call this one at friends” and left it up to me to make the next move.

Life After College Book Trailer - Outtake Shot

Snapshot from the outtake - in front of the SF Bay Bridge

One thing led to another and now my Online Date Turned Kick-Ass Friend, who just so HAPPENS to be a multiple Emmy award winning film producer (I saw those golden statues of glory with my own two eyes), graciously volunteered to film and edit my book trailer. Gratis. (Save for regular Chipotle dinners. I offered yoga, coaching or a motivational speech in return, but he hasn’t taken me up on any of the above…YET). Now THAT is what I call serendipity served with a giant heap of generosity.

I learned two important lessons from Date-a-Palooza: my third time attempting online dating was not the charm (romantically). It is simply not for me. At least not now, and especially not with all of this book excitement building and my attention focused obsessively on my baby.

BUT.

Second: when we let our egos go (as Jack did when he parlayed our failed date into a friendship), wonderful new relationships form. We get to know each other without the strain of trying to impress, woo or audition. We get to just be ourselves.

P.S. Look mom, I made a friend

Book Trailer Videos – I Need Your Help Deciding!

There are two cuts of the book trailer below — the first is 2:50, and the second is 2:00. For those of you with five minutes to spare, will you watch them both and vote in the comments on which one I should put on the Amazon page for the book?

The first has more narrative from me and more answers from college grads. Both were filmed in SF in front of the Bay Bridge and at Stanford University. The lovely Melissa Foster Cook was on Flipcam for the outtake at the end. Hope you like ‘em!

Life After College Book Trailer – Video 1: Long Cut (~3 minutes):

Life After College Book Trailer – Video 2: Shorter cut (2 minutes)

Learn more about the book on the Book Website or at Amazon. Want the nitty gritty behind-the-scenes details? Sign-up for my monthly(ish) Inside Scoop mailing list. For the book tour: if you want to join and/or request a stop, please fill out this form. I look forward to meeting many of you on the road!

***

P.S. The first recording of the “Inbox Freedom” webinar series is now up! Listen to Part 1 (~14 minutes) and Part 2 (~12 minutes), and be sure to sign-up for Session 2 next Thursday at 8:30am PST.

Are you new to Life After College? Welcome, and thanks for visiting! Looking for a portable life coach? Be sure to check out my new book, Life After College: The Complete Guide to Getting What You Want for tips, quotes and inspirational coaching exercises. If you liked this post, consider subscribing to my blog via email. Want access to the Organized Like a Ninja Toolkit with 15+ kick-ass templates, and hundreds of tips and tools to get your life in order? Sign-up for the monthly “inside scoop” (email updates with personal stories, tips and resources). I look forward to keeping in touch!

84 comments

Categories: Life After College - The Book!, Relationships, Video

Pingback: Book Trailer Videos: Which one should I post on Amazon? | Life After College Book: The Complete Guide to Getting What You Want – by Jenny Blake
http://www.positivelypresent.com Positively Present

This is awesome! As I mentioned in the survey I filled out earlier this morning, I really love the videos. Both are great and you’re so lucky you were able to connect with someone so talented who helped you create them.

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thanks Dani!! I know – I feel so lucky that I met “Jack.” And it was even crazier since I was only online dating for three weeks – not like I met dozens of people.

Have a fabulous week, my dear!

http://ryanstephensmarketing.com/blog/ ryanstephens

Awesome. It’s all coming together. Honestly, I need to watch them both again, but I think my initial reaction is #2.

In other news, I once stole second base without leaving first. It wasn’t quite as hard as hitting a home run without swinging, but it was close.

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thank you Ryan! And LMAO – I hope the ump didn’t catch you skipping bases. That’s what she said?

P.S. CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU IN MARCH!

http://jennbollenbacher.com/blog Jenn

I like the second one best. I generally think shorter is better with online video but I also like your lines more in that cut.

Great job!

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thanks Jenn! I think you’re right — people have such a short attention span online…sometimes I don’t even make it past the 30 second mark!

http://www.janaschuberth.com Jana Schuberth

Hey Jenny, love your new videos, gave feedback online as requested. People will rip the book out of your hands no doubt. and love? well that always comes when you least expect it. Never never never think it won’t happen to you too! And, if it helps at all, we all love you anyways! Jana x

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thanks Jana!! You are so sweet Hope you are having a fantastic week — we must catch-up again soon!!

Anonymous

Great videos! My vote is for #2, it seems tighter, but they both rock

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thanks so much! I know — they’re really similar — I’m sure most book-buyers won’t even notice the difference Thanks for weighing in!

http://ItStartsWith.Us Nate St. Pierre

Hey Jenny Blake, I think I’d vote on the second vid, ’cause shorter is usually better (even though I don’t subscribe to that in my own work, haha). I do want to say two things, though.

1) I love the video editing, graphics, quotes and music. Simple but effective, not overwhelming. LOVE the sound effects on the four (?) main categories that fly by.

2) I smiled so big when I saw the outtake shot. That was the real you talking, and SO cute! I wish/hope you can keep that in for Amazon.

Wish I was there to give you a hug right now – amazing all around. Can’t wait to see what happens in the sprrriiinnggg…..

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

NATE!!!

Thanks for your vote — means a lot, and I really appreciated the helpful explanation. So glad you liked the graphics with effects — that idea was all “Jack’s” — it turned out so well!

And yes — the outtake was really important to me — that’s the part where I really get to show that I’m not a robot…definitely keeping it in for Amazon. Besides, I say shit! Gotta show these grads that I can hang

Awww, I’m picturing a big hug from you. Can’t wait for the real thing in Austin!!!

Anonymous

NUMBA TWO!

You are such a rockin’ badass! And, dude, I knew we were soul mates, but this just proves it in that we have the same goal of not getting shit on by seagulls. I mean, how could two people possibly be MORE alike?

Cupcakes,
Me

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

WOMAN!! Your comments light up my inbox, FYI

Thanks for your vote! And we are SO. TOTALLY. SOULMATES with our same goal of not getting shit on. Separated at birth, I tell you!!

Extra sprinkley cupcakes,
Me

http://twitter.com/ChaChanna ChaChanna Simpson

Whoo Hoo! I am so proud of you. You are really putting everything into the promotion in your book and I am constantly impressed, amazed, and inspired by all the stellar things you keep doing. This is so freaking awesome.

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thank you so much ChaChanna — your support and enthusiasm just completely lifts me up every time!!! You are AMAZING. So happy to know you — big things ahead for both of us this year, I know it! Can’t wait to catch up again (for longer this time) when I’m back on your side of the country

http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa Doucette

Haha, again I frickin *LOVE* that outtake! It is SO YOU!

Also, I crack up that I’m not even “My IRLSPBFF Elisa” anymore. It’s just “coined by Elisa” like I’m a regular fixture around here.

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Awww, SPIRLBFF!!!! Thanks!!! The outtake is my favorite part too — I had to argue with “Jack” about keeping all of it in there even though it’s long.

And WORD!! You are most definitely now “Elisa” on my blog now since you’re such a regular. Kinda like Cher or Madonna. As in, “I mention Elisa in every post so you damn well better know her on a first name basis by now!!”

<3!!!!

http://www.enteradulthood.com Diana Antholis

#2! Congratulations!!

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thanks Diana! Appreciate the vote — #2 is the runaway winner so far…

http://www.enteradulthood.com Diana Antholis

You make videos look easy!

http://www.smallhandsbigideas.com Grace Boyle

I really love these videos Great idea to have a trailer and you look beautiful. I like them both. I would say shorter is just better (not in content) but just because brevity is key and will hold everyone’s attention.

These are great!

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Aw, thanks so much Grace!! You are so sweet – and I think you’re right about brevity being best. Two minutes is an eternity online these days!!

http://superduperfantastic.net/ suki

I like the shorter version. Cute outtake!

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thanks Suki! Glad you liked the outtake too — felt important to show more of my personality in there

Jamie Varon

Amazing, amazing, amazing times a bajillion! Second one best!

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thank you times a catrillion!!! I was telling my friend all about your Parisian barrel antics the other day. Just fabulous!!! Thanks for your vote, love. <3 until the end of time!!!

http://twitter.com/thomasgetchius Tom Getchius

Congratulations on everything taking shape in the promotion of this book. And if it’s not…well, you’re hiding it quite well! My vote is #2

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thank you so much Tom! I definitely have my low moments (mostly when I realize I’ve been working too hard without rest or fun), but I’m adjusting as I go and doing the best I can. Thank you so much for the kind words and support! Means a lot to me

http://carynlevyonline.blogspot.com Caryn

I like both videos and I don’t think you could go wrong with either but I think that in this day and age where everyone wants everything fast, now and immediate the second shorter video is your best bet. It is short, sweet and says it all. Best of luck! I think this looks great! What a brilliant book!

- Caryn
Carynlevyonline.blogspot.com

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thank you so much Caryn!! I really appreciate you weighing in — you are in great company, seems the vast majority prefers short and snappy So glad I asked for input — it’s such a helpful way to decide! Love your about page on your blog — looking forward to keeping in touch!

http://blog.sysil.com Stanley Lee

Jenny,

I like #2 better. Btw, you may want to fix the typo “ife After College Book Trailer – Video 2: Shorter cut” heading.

Stanley

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Whew — thanks for the typo correction, Stanley! You rock. And thanks for voting — #2 seems to be the runaway winner

Have a great week!

http://blog.sysil.com Stanley Lee

No problem, Jenny. Cute reaction by your dad, btw.

http://sydneyowen.com Sydney Owen

::wipes tear::

Anyone who knows you probably borderline lost it because THAT SONG IS SO FREAKING PERFECT FOR THIS TRAILER.

That being said, I LOVE them both. I love them equally. I say number one because it’s longer and more YOU time, but that’s me, being selfish, and wanting to see more. But I think I’m going to vote for number two because not everyone is as patient as we all are here.

SO PROUD OF YOU I CAN’T STAND IT. And I’m not even sure I have a right to be proud of you because you did all of this on your own and I had absolutely nothing to do with it, and I think sometimes when we’re proud of other people we are actually proud of ourselves for some reason… but I digress. I’m proud of you.

Proud to know you. Proud to be part of your world in whatever capacity, and proud to know that you have time to respond to my whacky emails and stuff when you’re in the middle of the most exciting and busy chapter of your life thus far.

You rock my socks. Both of them.

Hearts, sparkles, rainbows and unicorns,
Sydney

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

SYDNEY OWEN!!!

How do you do it? How do you know how to leave me speechless and make my day every single time with these comments and emails??

This comment just moved me to the core — you have no idea. THANK YOU. Thank you so much for all of the heartfelt words and support. You saying you are proud is so adorable!! Yes — as part of the Jenny Blake Inner Circle of Genius you absolutely have a right to say it! Though I totally know what you mean — sometimes it feels like it might come across as weirdly condescending or something but I don’t take it that way at all. I am so proud of YOU!!! You inspire me to live my life to the absolute fullest and I’m just so happy to know you and to be able to support each other through all these amazing life changes.

You rock my entire CLOSET.

Glitter, frosting, sprinkles, cupcakes, unicorns and gold dust!!!!!
Jenny

http://twitter.com/jpaja John Pajarillaga

I think the shorter one is better just because people typically prefer something shorter. But I think the 1st one captures more of the heart of the book.

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thanks John! I’m with you — which was what makes it a tough call. I’m thinking #2 will go on Amazon (I’ll be lucky to keep people’s attention for 30 seconds!) then maybe put #1 on the book website. Thanks so much for weighing in — have a great week!

megan

great choice of song. #2

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thanks Megs!! Yeah, I don’t exactly have the rights to the song, but what the heck. Easier to ask for forgiveness than permission!

http://twitter.com/mgchavez369 Martha G. Chavez

I’m so flipping excited about this book! Incredible job once again, Jen! I really liked the second one the best!

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thank you SO much Martha!!! Your comment gave me a huge smile — thanks so much for your vote, too! #2 is the winner by a long shot – your vote is in great company

Sneha Ramdas

number 2 is my fave, keepin it brief and keepin it real =)

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thanks Sneha! #2 seemed to really hit a home run today! I kinda figured short and snappy would take the cake… Have a great week!

Jenny Ferry

…why break a trend: #2

xo

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thanks for weighing in, love! xoxo! Seems like #2 is the runaway winner…

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=708720229 Pam Ahern

My vote is for video 2. Love video intros for books!

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Awesome — thanks Pam! Yes – I think it’s a great new trend that really allows readers to connect with the author and learn more about the book on an emotional level. So glad you liked the video!

http://www.daremytruth.com Vanessa

To get it out of the way – I agree with number 2.

This my friend, is what I call seredendipity or the universe conspiring to help you. I found the same thing with online dating: you go in hoping/expecting love, but you can come out with business contacts and friends – I made 2. Well as time goes on, one really keeps in touch, the other I think is dating someone. But he was a confidence cheerleader for 4 months.

In any case – you are too busy and need to be focused right now (I feel like your mom). A book trailor is an amazing idea. I’m so excited for you!

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thanks Vanessa! And yes — isn’t this the craziest serendipity story ever?! Love that you also had really successful non-dating outcomes — two friends is amazing! So awesome to have guy friends around — especially a “confidence cheerleader” (what a great term!).

I’m with you — too busy right now to make anyone a priority — they would be so far behind my book that it would be unfair to them. Thank you so much for stopping by and for your kind words — have a fabulous week!

Alissa

Congratulations, Jenny!!! What an exciting time for you . My favorite is #2. Best of luck picking!

Alissa

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thanks Alissa!! Great to hear from you Hope you’re doing well!!

http://www.tagbento.com/ @stephenhau

Ah, the joy of unexpected outcomes… It seems counterintuitive that when things don’t go as you expected or wanted, the outcome is often even better – it’s no wonder that people believe in higher forces! And not to jinx things, I hope, there’s still time for you both to change your minds…

Edit: I like that you’ve quoted around “failed” – it’s such a common word, a wide brush of negativity. We only fail if we choose not to learn anything from a ‘failure’.

As for the videos, I thought I’d vote the shorter video – I was thinking of short attention spans too. After watching both, it turns out I’d vote for the longer one – I think there was enough going on to hold my attention for that whole extra minute.

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thanks for weighing in Stephen! I know I’m torn between the two — but the popular vote seems to be for #2.

As for rekindling a romance — not gonna happen, but I’m actually thankful that neither of us is secretly hoping that it will – makes things way less awkward. I appreciate your hopeful optimism, though! And yes — how could I possibly call this a failure? A resounding success is more like it!

Have a fantastic week — thanks so much for stopping by

(P.S. I know I owe you an email….coming soon!)

http://www.daveursillo.com/ Dave Ursillo | DaveUrsillo.com

Hey Jenny!

I dig the longer cut. Maybe it’s just because that’s the first video that I watched. But the video is so good — conveys your goals, invokes need/delight in the potential customer, shines through with not just YOUR awesome personality but also the personality of those you interviewed (which is completely awesome — that I think you can “get away with” the longer video while still retaining the customer’s attention.

Rock onward

Dave

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Hey Dave!

Thanks for your vote — I’m so torn! You make very convincing arguments…I almost decided on the longer cut based on your comment alone! I think you bring up some great points…a tough decision, but I guess there so similar that either way will be all good

Email reply coming soon!

Hope you’re having an awesome week

Jenny

http://twitter.com/StephanieFlo Stephanie Florence

I think #2 may have taken the (cup)cake, but I’ll add in my vote for good measure. Keeping video short is always the best route. I love how your potentially awkward date ending was squashed due to your consistent glass half full mentality. Congrats on the trailer and staying fearless Miss Jenny!!

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Hey Stephanie! Thanks so much for your vote!! I love my bracelet — you are amazing

HUGS!

Angela Adamczyk

I like the second one better – I think it’s more straight to the point

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thanks Angela! I appreciate the vote Have a great week!

http://twitter.com/realitychicblog Erin Flynn

Hey Jenny!
I’d have to vote for video #2, and as for the blooper reel sea gull comment..I’m sad to say that actually happened to my sister once on Spring Break! Just remember it’s better to be pooped out than pooped on.ha!

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Hey Erin! Thanks so much for your vote! You’re so right — better to be pooped out than pooped on — lol! Have an amazing rest of your week

Nmehaffie

#1 !

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thanks so much for your vote!

http://thisitalianfamily.wordpress.com/ Rach

I love that he was honest about the relationship and you guys were able to form a friendship from the date. How great is that! Those videos of you are great – you do well on camera.

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thanks Rach! Yeah – I was so impressed with his ability to be honest and real in what could have easily been a very awkward conversation. So glad you liked the videos — thanks so much for the kind words! Have a great week

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http://twitter.com/ChelsTalksSmack Chelsea Talks Smack

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

Email reply coming soon <3!
http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

Email reply coming soon <3!

http://reinventingerica.com/ Erica OGrady

I’d go with the second cut – much tighter and cleaner

Best of Luck Lady!

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thanks so much for weighing in, Erica — have a great weekend!!

Anonymous

Congrats on the videos for your book! And regular Chipotle dinners is definitely the way to go I love Chipotle! Actually, talking about it makes me want a burrito right now…
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Tessa

this is so awesome, Jenny! I can’t wait for the book to come out. Also, I liked both videos, but probably a shorter one is better.
TJ

This is awesome. I wish my online dating adventures were half as effective!

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Thanks TJ! It’s funny – I’ve quit after three weeks every single time I’ve
tried online dating. It just is soooo not my bag…but this seemed to work
out quite well! Which definitely pokes some holes in my a”I don’t like it”
case against online dating

And thanks so much for your email — taking a short email hiatus over the
long weekend, but will reply soon!

kc

Hi Jenny,

I’m way late on this post, but I LOVE the videos. I also love the song in the background. What is that song so I can download it NOW?! Thanks!!!

kc

Never mind…I found it!

http://www.lifeaftercollege.org jennyblake

Glad you found it — I LOVE that song!! Thanks so much for the comments and for reading

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Msdadhich

hi,
Your blog is full of positiveness.