On Not White-Lying by Omission: 12 Mini Confessions

"Shh" - Image Courtesy of Raquel Camargo (Flickr)Bloggers, particularly of the personal development variety, really have to be careful about white-lying by omission.

If we don’t make an effort to share the ugly, dirty underbelly of our lives, you might assume that everything we touch is covered in glossy gold perfection, and that perhaps there is something wrong with you if you can’t achieve that same nirvana.

I speak for myself on this, but I don’t white-lie-by-omission to you on purpose. Sometimes I need the introverted time to process what is happening. And sometimes I don’t share on the blog because I’m not even ready to admit to myself what my little ugly truths are.

I’m not revealing anything earth-shattering today. But I am going to exercise my own version of confessional and search for 12 things that I have been otherwise resisting saying out loud. If you’re feeling brave, I’d love for you to join me (at least with one or two) in the comments. It will help me feel like I’m not standing all alone on my island of embarrassing quirks :)

12 Mini Confessions

  1. There are some days — more than I’d care to admit — where I cannot bring myself to work, no matter how large my to-do list grows. I spent last Friday watching all seven episodes of Revenge in bed. (For the record, that show is my new guilty-pleasure addiction.) Sometimes I wake up and I just feel flat out depressed for no good reason. I think it’s the change in weather and daylight — but I could just be making that up.
  2. Sometimes the more my email inbox grows, the more days I spend avoiding it. I’ve even signed on to teach a second round of the Inbox Freedom webinar series because I’m hoping it will motivate me to tackle my own overwhelm. Join me if you’re feeling overwhelmed too.
  3. As much as I try to be all “zen and sh*t” about my dating life, there are many moments where I can’t help but feel frustrated and sad. For years people have said things like, “When you finish the book…when you leave Google…when you move to New York…when you exhibit the qualities you’d want in a partner…” Check. Check. Check and check. No more outside advice…no more paradoxical cliches…once again I search for some peace of mind in my Open Letter to Love.
  4. My coping mechanism for dating frustration is creating snarky Someecards that are not really appropriate for the front page of my blog and sending them to my #SPIRLBFF Elisa Doucette. Here’s the latest creation.
  5. Sometimes I feel like I am losing my mind to limerence! How can such a logical woman spiral in circles about a guy she barely knows? I simultaneously love the fantasy and feel tortured by the thought that I’m making it all up. I know, I should just ask him out already. But I’m too chicken. Says the girl who quit Google.
  6. I should write about dating on my blog waaay more often than I do. But I’m worried that you’ll analyze me or try to give me advice or that I’ll feel stupid. I know, it’s ridiculous. To fix this, I might start a 20-minute “Dating in the Digital Age” podcast with the guy I met online who ended up filming my book trailer.
  7. Sometimes during yoga class I pretend I’m on stage performing. Gah! I’m a yoga teacher! I should know, more than anyone, that yoga is about turning inward; not comparing yourself to others or trying to impress (which holds true on and off the mat). But sometimes I imagine that I’m the world’s most graceful practitioner and the thought that I’m performing helps me extend through every limb. Is that so bad?
  8. I get a notification from every person who unsubscribes from my blog or newsletters. Each time it sends a little pang of hurt, but I don’t turn them off. I like to think it provides feedback…keeps me on my toes…but really it’s just masochistic. I think it’s an inner critic tactic — grasping for evidence that whatever I just sent was total crap.
  9. For the most part, I dislike Skype calls and won’t normally agree to them unless I do them all on the same day. Most days I’m working in my sweats with no makeup on, or still in sweaty clothes from going on a run. I only do something presentable with my hair if I’m leaving the house…for something other than errands. So when people say, “Let’s Skype!” I imagine the 45 minutes of effort I’d have to put in, and I ask if they’re okay chatting on the phone instead.
  10. Even though my Four-Step Budget template is one of my most popular downloads, I’m in desperate need of a spending overhaul! I still haven’t really changed my spending habits since leaving Google, and I know I could be saving more than I am. This is even MORE important now that my income is unpredictable from month-to-month — and yet, I can’t seem to resist indulging all my food, shoe and clothing whims in New York.
  11. My last Make Sh*t Happen (MSH) newsletter had a MAJOR typo in the subject line. It said “10 Tenants for Any Quest;” I used the word Tenants (renters) instead of Tenets (principles). It went out to over 600 people, but thankfully only a few noticed…or told me that they noticed. Hey — at least they were paying attention! I felt like a complete idiot. Unlike blog posts, you can’t update an email subject line after the fact.
  12. The MSH course wrapped up last week and I have been so blown away by the people in it and the fact that IT WORKED that I got overwhelmed and haven’t shared anything with you on the blog. Partly because the participants and I promised each other that what happens in the course would stay confidential, and partly because I don’t want to be the annoying salesy-braggy blogger type. At the same time, this is what puts food on the table now! So I will post some love for the MSH course soon…when I can motivate myself to stop watching shows on Hulu and start getting back to work. In the meantime, check out this Q&A with Alexis Grant for more about the course.

I’m now laughing out loud in the middle of Starbucks. Have I made myself sound totally batshit crazy yet?!

How about you? What are one or two “truths” that you’ve been itching to offload?
Share in the comments — it might just provide some much-needed relief. . .

And when all else fails, make an ecard.

***

P.S. I am absolutely in love with this video, and the song that goes with it (We Don’t Eat by James Vincent McMorrow). It makes me so grateful to be living in New York:

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