If pictures speak 1,000 words, I’ll let the first one in this post express the total calm and beauty I experienced on my river trip last week. I loved every unplugged second of it. Great food & guides (thank you Echo!), great people, great yoga, and endless little moments of laughter, connection and perfect weather.

But the best part of all was letting myself roam completely free for an entire week. No to-dos, no make-up, no emails, no gadgets, no worries. It was truly a vacation for the soul.

Rogue River - Southern Oregon

Which brings me to this blog post. You know how much I love metaphors as life lessons (some favorites: domesticating jaguars, lifting the oars, panicking during a triathlon & living a sandboxed life); I couldn’t help but gather 20 gems from my week-long river rafting trip (with my friend Julie’s help during our drive home). I’ve only just scratched the surface – I’m sure there are dozens (if not hundreds) of other little life lessons that could be gleaned from the experience, so feel free to add others you can think of in the comments!

20 Life Lessons I Learned on the Rogue River

1. Contrast makes the world go ’round. The crazy, hectic lives we lead back home made relaxing on the river incredibly fulfilling. Also: squatting to pee and finding a dying bee in my mop of river-dreadlocked hair gave me an entirely new appreciation for toilets and warm showers. And this, my friends, is why contrast makes the world go ’round. Highs and lows, happiness and sadness, the comforts of city life versus life stripped to the essentials are what keep things exciting.
2. It’s a lot harder to paddle back upstream than it is to just keep moving forward. No matter how much you may want a do-over for the rapids in your life, you’ve got to just keep moving. What’s done is done. Find your place back in the current and let the river take you forward. And if you are going to paddle upstream, make sure it’s for a good reason (like helping a friend), because it’s a helluva lot of work.
3. Sometimes you have to cut your baggage loose to get unstuck. On Day 3 one of the boats got caught in an “aggrivated perch” on a challenging Class 4 rapid where the force of the water held the boat locked against a giant rock. The only way for the two guides in the boat to set it free was to literally start cutting bags loose since they were anchoring the boat in the wrong direction. Finally, after freeing a few big bags and the coffee maker, the guides were able to wrest the boat free from the rocks. What baggage do YOU need to cut loose in order to keep moving?
   
4. Sometimes you stand up with a stick in your ass. Literally. Have a good laugh and carry on with your day. This is probably TMI, but after peeing in the woods one day, I stood up and realized there was a stick caught between my cheeks. Stop laughing…it happens, okay?!?! I had a good hearty laugh and realized it was oh-so-metaphoric for all those days we wake up on the wrong side of bed. You might not have put the stick there, but you do have the power to take it out.
5. There’s no point in suffering from heat-stroke on a hot day if you have an entire river below you. JUMP IN! Sometimes I think we let ourselves get so hot, sweaty and miserable in our lives that we forget the answer to our problems can be right beneath our feet. For a day on the river, there’s nothing a jump into refreshingly cold water can’t fix. For a day off the river, look for those obvious opportunities to let loose or feel better. They are everywhere if you just open your eyes and look around.
6. Sometimes the unexpected swim (after falling out of a kayak while going through a rapid) is even better than the ride you planned. Live for the unexpected adventures in your life. Let your mistakes be a part of the fun. Sometimes they are the best part.
7. In moments of panic, don’t jump ship right before a big rock. One of the kids on our trip was planning to go through a rapid on the inner tube. Right as he approached a big rock (that the tube would’ve bounced off of), his eyes got wide and he panicked. Instead of gripping the tube and hoping for the best, he jumped out and was left to fend for himself as a swimmer through the rocks. Our big goals almost always require confronting big rocks – hold on tight and have faith that things will work out.
8. Stake out the big rapids in life and plan your course before going through. For the biggest rapids on the trip we parked the boats, hiked up to see what was going on, and went over how the guides would paddle through. A little planning went a long way toward reducing uncertainty and making sure everyone felt comfortable.
9. On the other hand, sometimes the more you think and plan, the harder something becomes. If you hesitate for too long at the top of a cliff jump (or natural water slide), you’ll scare yourself out of it. Just go!
10. People are fascinating if you get curious. Take the time to get to know people. Ask what they do for fun, what lights them up, what the best part of their day was. People are so much more interesting than the answer to the routine “so, what do you do?” question — stretch yourself and make the effort to really get to know people. It’s worth it.
11. Itching mosquito bites only makes them worse. As tempting as it may sometimes be, don’t engage or encourage unwanted things or people in your life. Let them be.
12. It’s okay to let go sometimes and let someone else do the work. For a good majority of the trip, I sat high up on one of the oar boats in a spot that we dubbed “the princess perch.” It was piled high with bags, and I used the inner tube as a pillow. For once, I didn’t care that I wasn’t the one paddling – I was perfectly happy to relax and let someone else take charge. Mission Relax & Slow Down = SUCCESS!
13. If you always sleep in the comfort of your tent, you’ll miss the stars. I slept outside on the last night under the glow of moonlight with zillions of stars poking through the leaves of the trees, and it was absolutely gorgeous. Sure, I got a few DOZEN mosquito bites, but it was well worth it.
    
14. Friends are like life jackets. Sometimes you don’t realize how important they are until you fall into the water and they’re there to keep you afloat. So be good to your friends even when you don’t NEED them. Especially when you don’t need them.
15. Keep your tent zipped if you want to keep the bugs out. Don’t get sloppy about who and what you let into your life. Better to keep your tent zipped than to sleep with ants and mosquitoes at night. That said, also be open to letting new people and experiences into your proverbial tent.
16. Being unplugged – truly, 100% gadget-free unplugged – is like giving your brain a clear, calm beautiful day on the river. Emails and commitments are like little pebbles that pile up in your brain. Obsess over them and they become big rocks that cause big rapids. Make sure you give yourself frequent breaks from the pebbles of your life.
17. Get the right people on your boat (or your river trip). Whether you’re spending a day or a week (or more) with people, the ride will be much more enjoyable (and your paddle crew more effective) if you pick the right people up front. Our trip was awesome, largely because of the people and river guides who were on it with us.
18. You can do all the planning in the world and you’ll still forget to pack your river pants. I had a packing list. I had a checklist. I started packing a week in advance. I laid all my clothes out before neatly packing them in my duffel bag. And guess what? I still somehow managed to leave one of the most important items of the trip at home. Sigh. Thankfully, my friend Julie forgave my stupid error and let me borrow her extra pair of pants.
19. Getting there is half the fun. The road-trip up to Oregon took about nine hours each way, and my friend Julie and I laughed, vented, shared and played little games (like taking turns listing proudest life moments) through redwood forests, small towns and big curving mountain roads. It was incredible, and I’m so glad we left ourselves extra days to enjoy the ride there and back.
20. Life on the river is not about what you do, how you look or where you live. It is about who you are, how much fun you’re having, and the connections you make with nature, with yourself, and with the people you are surrounded by.

Special thanks to Susan Fox, an incredible life coach and yoga teacher, who organized the trip and led two daily yoga sessions with the group. There is something magical about doing tree pose while staring at a river bank lined with lush green trees, moving into triangle and looking up to see a bald eagle soaring across the blue sky, flipping into waterfall pose (a backbend) with the sound of rushing water in the background, then later ending with savasana (corpse pose) by relaxing onto the hot rocks warmed by sunlight as we finished our practice. The yoga (and entire trip) was truly a little slice of heaven.

Namaste.

Group Photo (that's me in the middle doing Bakasana...not easy on a downhill slope!)

***

P.S. Hat tip to Grace Boyle for recommending the AWESOME book I started reading on the trip. Shantaram is a 900+ page door-stopper novel/memoir about a recovered heroin-addict who escaped over the front wall of an Australian prison (after being committed for armed robbery) who then fled to Bombay where he set-up a free medical clinic in the slums and started working for the Indian mafia. Crazy, right?! Grace also sent me an overview video from the author, Gregory David Roberts, a fascinating man whose book is a total page-turner must-read about life, love, regret and redemption.

P.P.S. Two great (free!) e-books came out while I was gone – check ‘em out:

• What I Know About Getting a Job: Advice from Top Bloggers in HR (edited by Rich DeMatteo of Corn on the Job, in partnership with Brazen Careerist)
• Fearless Health: How to Thrive in an Unhealthy World (by Matt Gartland of Healthy Lifestyle Design)

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1. Triathlon: 5 Things I Learned From Panicking… then Finishing I would be remiss if I didn’t write the obligatory...

I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Partly because of the book deal, but partly because I got propped up by a small army of support these last two weeks by having all of you celebrate with me. Every tweet, text, email, call, facebook note, hug and high-five just filled me to the brim with gratitude. This book finally feels real — thanks to you.

Enter the Success Demons…Right on Cue

Just like clockwork when I feel that warm-fuzzy happiness wash over me, I immediately start hearing my success demons knocking at the door. These are different than my inner critic. My inner critic is good at hitting me when I’m down: “Of course you’re lonely, you aren’t lovable.” BAH! I get angry just typing that! Because I know it’s not true. But it happens.

My success demons, on the other hand, are new – and I’m only just discovering how pernicious they can be. The success demons come out the minute I start feeling relaxed and joyful. They say things like:

• You don’t deserve to be happy
• You have it too good – the other shoe is going to drop any minute.
• Be careful, when things are THIS good, someone you love could get sick or die or you could lose your house or job
• You just got lucky. What are you celebrating for?

Life is a roller coaster – OF COURSE bad things could happen at any minute. But it is such a shame to let these angry, ugly demons rain on the fun parade without reason. I never used to understand the quotes that talked about people being more afraid of success than failure. But now I do. Because with success comes the fear that it could all disappear at any minute. And the fear that somehow it’s too early – or too much – to be celebrating.

Mind Like Water

When the success demons come roaring, particularly the one about bad things about to happen, I remind myself of a popular zen saying “mind like water,” which means the following: when you throw a stone into a lake, the lake ripples in proportion to the size of the stone. It doesn’t start rippling BEFORE the stone hits (nervous anticipation), and it doesn’t ripple for long AFTER the stone hits. It just reacts, then returns to it’s normal calm state. Stress comes from regrets about the past or worrying about the future – so if I can just come back to what is in front of me TODAY, it usually helps.

Two books that have been tremendously helpful for me in this area: The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks (which talks about the upper limits we place on ourselves) and Taming Your Gremlins (a book with a lighthearted, exercise-based approach to dealing with your inner critic) by Rick Carson.

Success demons be gone! I have one more celebration to share

Here’s another example of a success demon: I signed my book contract on Wednesday after months of nervous anticipation, and it was one of the happiest, proudest moments of my life. Seeing the words “Author: Jenny Blake” on a legal document brought tears to my eyes. I’ve dreamed about this since I was a little girl reading in the Green Apple Bookstore every day after school, dog-earing pages because I knew I’d be back the next day.

But when it came time to share this monumental moment on my blog I thought, “People are so sick of hearing about your success! Give it a rest already.” Ouch! So I debated whether to say anything…to post the video or the pictures my friend Julie took to commemorate the event. Then I realized those are just more success demons rearing their ugly heads. Because even if someone out there is sick of me, someone might be happy! And as Marianne Williamson says, “your playing small does not serve the world.” So here I go…

Video #1 – Signing my book contract! (42 seconds long)

Video #2 – An outtake, just for fun

The “million dollar signature” – up close and personal

Thank you. For just being here. For letting me celebrate, and for celebrating with me.

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The last time I was in Las Vegas with my high school friends, I sprung up from a six-hour stint of lounging in bed to write a blog post titled Stop Auditioning for Other People’s Lives. I was hit with a wave of inspiration, as so often happens when I travel and get out of my daily routine.

This time in Las Vegas (Bloggers in Sin City FTW!), I came to a similar conclusion through the amazing love and support of a blogger I met there; an instant soul-sister and a wise, wise woman. If you don’t already subscribe to Chelsea Talks Smack, do so immediately. She is an absolute rock-star (literally), and inspired this week’s thought:

What if I was just myself?

• What if I let myself feel my feelings instead of stuffing them down and pretending they don’t exist?
• What if I stopped measuring myself by my accomplishments and productivity and number of emails sent per day?
• What if I told you all that I don’t have it all figured out? If you haven’t already noticed
• What if I let you see the fun, crazy side in addition to the professional one?

I’ll tell you what: I’d have more fun, for starters. I wouldn’t burst into tears the minute someone asks me about dating and relationships. I’d be a clean-burning fire, and contribute positive, cheerful energy to a room the way that I know I can. I’d sprinkle my “gold dust” around and I would lift people up.

I would take care of myself so that I could be there for others. So that I could be truly happy for them and celebrate their successes even in the areas that I feel most stuck. I would relax. And feel a little happier…a little more joyful.

The Grace in Falling Apart

Pam Slim wrote a fantastic post today called The Grace in Falling Apart. For the most part, I have my shit together. Look! I swore on my blog! Letting loose already! But there is a part of me that desperately wants to fall apart. And I would like to let her. She’s been cooped up long enough.

Don’t worry, falling apart doesn’t mean running away or doing anything drastic. It just means admitting that I actually have FEELINGS (and letting them out), which isn’t always easy for me to do. 

Denial: The Busy Person’s Answer To Feelings

According to my Enneagram type (I am obsessed with personality tests and The Widsom of the Enneagram book is amazing), Achievers tend to suppress their feelings by staying busy (Sandboxed Life, much?). They avoid intimacy because they can get more done and keep up the success mask that way. Their basic fear is of being worthless outside of their achievements.

Achievers fear that “closeness will allow others to see that they actually do not have it all together.” So rather than risk rejection, “they will typically try to pull themselves together and achieve more so that others will be satisfied with them.”

Their motto? “Feelings are like speed bumps – they just slow me down.” Tell me if that doesn’t sound exactly like the ecards I made five months ago! (Rule: if you click on the links you’re supposed to laugh).

I’d make a terrible robot

As another wise teacher (who gave me the courage to actually hit “publish” on this post) told me recently: “The most beautiful part of you is that you are vulnerable. That at your core you are a normal, sensitive girl…even though you hide it with an extraordinarily hard shell. Hiding any insecurity or fear is just plain silly because everyone has insecurities and fears. That’s what makes us humans and not bots. People will love you regardless of any shortcoming you may think you have.”

So that’s my assignment this week (and beyond). To stop hiding, to keep sharing and to keep feeling. And to just be myself.

***

P.S. Now someone please crack a joke, because all this feeling talk is making me uncomfortable! Time for a good laugh! Or a cupcake. Or another trip to Las Vegas with 70+ awesome bloggers. Is it time for #BiSC 2011 yet?

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Note: This post first appeared on Life After College in December of 2008. I normally don’t re-post, but the topic came up during a coaching call today and I felt compelled to share this post again (especially since many of you may not have seen it the first time).

The bottom line: Enough with the voices in your head. Enough worrying about whether you measure up. I want to remind us all take a moment today to appreciate what we have and how far we have already come. We…you…are all enough. And then some.

Breathe in and say, “What I have is enough.”
Breathe out and think, “What I am is enough.”
Breathe in and say, “What I do is enough.”
Breathe out and think, “What I have achieved is enough.”
-Barbara Ann Kipfer

If I gave you a dollar for every time you thought yourself “not good enough” in some way, how much money would you have earned last week? Last year? In your lifetime?

From my observations, there are three kinds of “enoughs.” Materialistic – money, things, possessions; Relationships – friends, family, significant other; and Personal – success, looks, smarts, etc. All of the examples in these lists could go on forever. And it’s possible I’m missing a category entirely.

What seems a common thread to me is the (at times persistent) nagging thoughts that we all experience around the concept of “enough.” I mentioned this briefly in my post titled “You Already Have Everything You Need,” where the bottom line was to stop delaying your dreams or your happiness until some future state of perfection – that you already have all of the skills, resources and talent you need.

There’s a lot of buzz in the personal-growth genre about the concept of being present. Books like Power of Now, Wherever You Go There You Are, and Mindfulness all point to the importance of being awake to your life. Enjoying the present moment because it’s all you have. If you are constantly longing for the past of waiting for the future, your entire life will be spent – well, longing or waiting. Joy is fleeting if we don’t stop to appreciate where we are now, and remember that who we are and where we are is enough.

So instead of waiting for the future – for some future state where you suddenly have enough or are enough, be the future. Live and embody it; act as though it were here. It is. There is no there, or better state. Make the most of this one – it is right where you should be – and the only place that’s real.

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If I ever do learn to cook (one day mom, I promise!), I'm starting with this thing.

It’s time for another Crock-Pot post (yes, I just made that up): sometimes I get hit with so many unrelated miscellaneous links, articles, and cool things to share that I decide to throw it all into a big stew and serve it up. Bon appetite!

Happy Thoughts – Delivered Daily

I’m a sucker for daily inspirational emails, quotes or thoughts. Three lists I’ve been enjoying lately:

• The Daily Love – “Wisdom with Style” (Quotes on love and happiness)
• Positive Quote of the Day (Short, simple email with a great thought to start each day)
• TUT – Notes from the Universe (funny, wise and widely-known list)

I particularly appreciated today’s TUT Note (thank you Ruth Ann for sharing it!):

“Of all the things that matter, Jenny, that really and truly matter, working more efficiently and getting more done, is not among them.

Chill,
The Universe

And, quite accidentally, Jenny, such an appreciation leads to greater efficiency and more productivity. Not that that really matters.”

Other great stuff around the web:

• Colin Wright’s eBook, How to be Remarkable (the Least You Need to Know). Incredibly well done with powerful advice – a must-read!
• Matt Cheuvront‘s Epiphany Moment video series (featuring yours truly)
• The full round-up of posts for Elisa Doucette’s February “All You Need is Love” series
• The reader comments on my Help a Reader Out: How Do You Make Decisions post: TONS of fantastic, insightful tips.
• My Dad’s Blog! I couldn’t be prouder. My dad and I take walks every Sunday and talk about life – I’m so excited that he’s now sharing all of his great stories, theories and art with the rest of the world!
• I signed-up for Formspring – ask me anything and I’ll answer (but keep it friendly and SFW, people!)
• There are lots more articles I find interesting (on writing, psychology, happiness, humor and more) on Delicious

My Policy on Book Reviews – and Live a Life You Love: Book Giveaway Winner

I’ve implemented a new policy on this blog for book reviews (on books that others send to me, not ones I choose myself). In the name of transparency, I’m sharing it with all of you:

1. I will only review books if I get two copies – one for me and one to give away to my readers; It’s no fun if I’m the only one getting a free book!
2. I will only agree to someone sending me a book in the first place if I find the description captivating. The book should meet at least one of the following criteria: useful/beneficial to me and my readers, related to topics I blog about, or fun/unique in some way.
3. I reserve the right to decide whether to write a blog post on the book until after reading it (at which point I can discern whether a majority of my readers will learn or benefit in some way).
4. Am I missing anything?

With that, I’m excited to announce that Clara is the winner of the Live a Life You Love book giveaway. Congrats, and thanks so much to everyone who commented to enter!

OK Go’s AWESOME New Music Video – This Too Shall Pass

I leave you with one final pick-me-up: OK Go’s new music video – it’s colorful, playful, creative, and just pure genius. (Plus – the contraptions remind me of the booby traps from The Goonies, one of my all time favorite movies.) Enjoy!

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“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather.

Photo Courtesy of Andreas (Flickr)

I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration; I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal.

In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized.

If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.”

—Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I am fascinated by human potential. I absolutely believe that if we see the best in others, we bring out the best in others – and in ourselves.

How great does it feel when someone believes in you – and genuinely means it – even after barely meeting you? While there are exceptions (I don’t advocate blind trust, for example) – seeing the good in someone can be one of the most powerful gifts in the world. Give it freely.

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Do you ever find yourself in a state so euphoric you feel the urge to immediately bring yourself back down? Snap back to reality before reality has a chance to kick you in the ass and disappoint you? I do.

I struggle with appreciating, enjoying and expanding happy moments. Sometimes I find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop. Or I immediately remind myself of all the people suffering and why I don’t deserve to feel so happy – convinced it will be taken away from me any second now. I’m learning to notice those thoughts and recognize them for what they are – fear. I know I am better than that. My motto is “live big!” – and fear and worry only rob me of that.

I just finished a fantastic book on this subject, The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks, about The Upper Limit Problem – our limited tolerance for feeling good. Hendricks talks about how we shoot ourselves in the foot when we feel ourselves approaching (or God forbid – surpassing) our perceived upper limits of happiness and success.

I’m going to post The Big Leap book notes soon. Today’s post actually comes from a place much closer to home – they are excerpts from essays my dad (architect by day, painter/writer/reader/thinker by night) wrote on the subject of Bliss – that wonderful state of transcendent joy, at once elusive and incredibly rewarding. My dad and I had a conversation about The Upper Limit Problem this weekend, and last night I arrived home to find 30-pages of handwritten notes sitting in a manila folder on my doorstep. I’m so excited to share them with you – they are priceless – and no, I’m not just saying that because he’s my dad.

Jim Blake (my dad!) On Bliss:

It takes courage to seek bliss and it takes courage to maintain bliss.

A state of bliss is, by definition, a separation from the norms of social life. It is a standing apart, isolated from the goals of the common, the goals stated and implied of the family, neighborhood, city and nation. Good gets stale quicker than bread. That which is good soon gets old and tired. Don’t be surprised when good goes bad. Bliss is dynamic.

Bliss allows you in and takes you for a ride – you want to live with it. Fear is a one-trick pony worth a 15-second glance in a museum – usually over sized – the first trick of missed bliss.

It takes courage to peel away from expectations. It takes courage to maintain a state of blissful separateness, and courage again to share what one brings back from that journey.

Harnessing Bliss
Take the time to win your private war against your mundane soul.
It is a war of daily battles.
It is a war won in the trenches
With hard work, healthy habits.
It is a war won when no one is looking – no one is listening
And you have all the time you need to prevail.

The Bliss Crash / The Agony of Bliss
1. It isolates an individual
2. There is always a crash!
The agononies and humiliations of loss.
The risk of the arena – not knowing the outcome.
Bliss is rugged – not gentle. It only looks easy and painless. The price is high (the bliss crash)
Loss of bliss – coming down from a bliss state – depression, anxiety, fear, resentment.

The Authority of Bliss
People tend to defer to one who has graceful and regular access to the bliss state and it’s poetic products – from Joe Montana’s superbowl victories to Erik Fischl’s seductively superficial brushwork – “they make it look easy” – “they make it look fun.”

Unconditional Bliss
Find bliss wherever you may be, whatever you are doing, and with whomever you are with. Make the very finest with what you have. You are the sum of your bliss.

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1. Book Notes: Zen and the Art of Happiness I read a lot of books (connect with me on...

I read a lot of books (connect with me on Good Reads to keep up!), and I’m working on my next list of Ten Books that Changed My Life. I wrote the last one almost two years ago and my life has changed A LOT in that time. Until I publish the next round, consider these notes for Zen and the Art of Happiness a must read.

This book is short and small, but really packs a punch. For me, it was more digestible and engaging than any other book I’ve read on on happiness, zen, the way, being present, being here now – you get the point. Even if those topics are too “woo woo” for you (wow that’s a lot of rhyming!) – you’ll still benefit from this simple approach to happiness.

As usual, these book notes are looong! Make sure you click on the title of the post (or the link at the bottom that says “read the rest of this entry”) to see the full version. If you want to print the notes, there is a little icon at the bottom of the post that says “print this post.” Enjoy!

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Book Notes: Zen and the Art of Happiness
By Chris Prentiss

The Way

“Zen is simply the state of centeredness which is here and now.” –Alan Watts

• The Zen of doing anything is doing it with a particular concentration of mind, a calmness and simplicity of mind, that brings the experience of enlightenment and, through that experience, happiness.

We Are the Authors of Every Next Moment

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. It is founded on our thoughts, it is made up of our thoughts.”

• Your personal philosophy determines how you respond to events that come into your life. It is completely responsible for your state of happiness and well being.
• The answers are never “out there.” All the answers are “in there,” inside you, waiting to be discovered.
• You are like a railroad switch. Every time an event occurs you channel the activity onto the positive or negative track. Even though the event hurt you or took something away from you, you are still in charge of channeling it onto a positive or a negative track. You determine its future outcome.

The New Experience

“Every day is a good day.” –Ummon

• To reach the goal of happiness, act as though the following is true: “Everything that happens to me is the best possible thing that can happen to me.” (tape these notes around the house and your desk)
• Everything comes at the appointed time.
• It’s not necessary to have all the ingredients of a project in hand at the outset. They will come at the appointed time. Its only important that you move forward with the project until that appointed time arrives. With the energy you create by moving forward as if you had the ingredients to start, you actually put into motion a stream of events that lead to your success. Your actions create an “energy vortex” that draws in the necessary ingredients for your venture.

“If you really know how to live, what better way to start the day than with a smile? Smiling helps you approach the day with gentleness and understanding…Smile with your whole being.” –Thich Nhat Hanh

• Smile. Imagine the situation turning out wonderfully for you. Affirm what’s happening is going to be of tremendous benefit to you.
• The Universe doesn’t make mistakes. Everything is happening just as it should.

The Inner Road

• Neither happiness nor unhappiness is contained in the event itself.
• What determines each person’s state of happiness or unhappiness is not the event itself, but what the event means to that person. All the events of life work like that. It is the way you look at things and the way you relate to them that determines your state of happiness or unhappiness, not the things themselves.

Cause and Effect

Your worst enemy cannot harm you
As much as your own thoughts, unguarded.
But once mastered,
No one can help you as much.
–The Dhammapada

• You can feed yourself new information by choosing new ways of looking at and interpreting the events of your life.

“The highest nobility lies in taming your own mind.” –Atisha

A curse or a blessing?

• Each incident in life, even a painful experience, basically provides you with only two choices: you can either curse it and call it an “accident” or you can call it “good fortune.”
• Character is the bow from which we shoot the arrows of the future.

Adapting to Change

“Flow with whatever may happen and let your mind be free: Stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing. This is the ultimate.” –Chuang Tzu

• Change is a constant – we can count on that.
• A situation only becomes favorable when one adapts to it.

“Embrace simplicity…be content with what you have and are, and not one can despoil you.” –The Tao Te Ching

• Happiness comes from our response to the conditions of our lives.
• How you conduct yourself along the path that is your life determines how your life unfolds. You are the doorway through which your life unfolds.
• A strong personal philosophy does more than sustain us through the tragedies of life. It also sustains us daily in everything we think and do. It gives us optimism and hope. It frees us from the tyranny of events.

“When you can be calm in the midst of activity, this is the true state of nature…When you can be happy in midst of hardship, then you see the true potential of the mind.” –Huachu Daoren

Stress and Your Imagination

• One of the greatest obstacles between you and happiness is stress. By stress I mean a feeling in your mind of fear, anxiety, distress, worry, unease, or foreboding caused by using your mind to imagine a bad outcome to a past, present, or future event or situation. Nothing else causes stress.
• Stress comes from the way you relate to events or situations.
• Neither stress nor happiness is contained in things, events, or situations. Things are just things, events are merely events, situations are only situations. It’s up to you to supply your reaction to them. You get to choose.
• The tricky part in eliminating stress is controlling our imaginations to envision a happy outcome rather than a poor one.
• If you stay in control of your imagination, its impossible to feel fear or stress.
• One of the reasons any obstacle is in your life is so that you can grow from it and become strong.
• You’re only as strong as your area of greatest weakness.
• The Universe always strikes at your weakest point because that’s what most needs strengthening. Your challenges are, in effect, hand delivered by a loving Universe to make you stronger.
• It is by working your way through the problems that you will gain strength, wisdom and knowledge.
• Realize also that the goals you seek aren’t the be-all and end-all of life, even though you may think you are. It’s the path itself that’s the be-all and end-all. Reaching for your goals and searching for answers is what is leading you along the path you’ve chosen for this lifetime. The path itself is where the truth is to be found, where your destiny manifests itself, and where your happiness lives.
• Events are the language of the Universe.

Healing Your Past

Do not pursue the past.
Do not lose yourself in the future.
The past no longer is. The future
Has not yet come. Looking deeply at life
As it is in the very here and now,
The practitioner dwells in
Stability and Freedom
–Bhaddekaratta Sutta

• Forgive yourself for the things you regret having done to others, forgive others for the things they did to you; acknowledge the rightness of the events that you thought did not benefit you, and, more than that, acknowledge that each event was for your benefit or will turn out to be for your benefit.

“The present moment is a wonderful moment.” –Thich Nhat Hanh

• The moment we call now is all that exists.
• When we live in the now, keeping our awareness and concentration on the present moment, as zen encourages us to do, we rein in our runaway imaginations – not dwelling on the past, not worrying about the future, not judging events as they come and go.
• Meditation does not have to be long or complicated for you to receive its benefits. Start with five minutes a day. Follow your breath in and out – if you start to think of something other than your breath, gently pull yourself back.

The Secret and the Smile

• “Be Happy” means choosing to be happy whenever you have the choice. It is not a mindless happiness, but a mindful happiness because it is based upon the knowledge that whatever happens to you will benefit you – and benefit you greatly.
• Most of the time, we respond to life without taking a moment to choose the way we want to think and feel about a particular event or situation. It takes work to make the choice.
• The hardest work comes when the situation is hurtful or has taken something from us.

Author’s Note

I acknowledge you for your marvelous effort. I respect you for persevering on your path toward enlightenment. I bow low to you for your greatness of spirit, your warrior’s heart, and your search for the truth of your existence. May you attain to greatness, may your life be long and happy, and may you mount to the skies of happiness as though on the wings of six dragons! –Chris Prentiss

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The Master of Living

The master in the art of living
draws no sharp distinction between
his work and his play,
his labor and his leisure,
his mind and his body,
his information and his recreation,
his love and his religion.
He hardly knows which is which.

He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does,
leaving others to determine whether he is working or playing.
To him, he is always doing both.

—James A. Michener

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1. All Set! Thanks so much for completing the Life After College Book...

I owe you a “Part 2″ post on how I got my new position as a Career Development Program Manager at Google. Trust me – I’ve been working on it. But I started writing about all the various networking and interviewing tactics I used in a mile-long list of tasks, and I bored myself to tears. I’ve been wracking my brain, struggling mightily to figure out how to boil down all those steps into something useful for you.

The lightning bolt of inspiration, and an answer to my boring blog post woes
Then Grace Boyle emailed me about participating in her joint “Crush it” contest with Gary Vaynerchuk, of WineTV fame. Sparks flew when I read the prompt: “Skills are cheap, passion is priceless.”

YES. Yes, yes, yes! Deep down, I *know* that passion is what got me my new job. It’s not the handy 9-square one-sheeter that I used for interviews (don’t worry, I still created a template for you).

I’ve got big plans…and they don’t start with self-censorship
The contest prompt is to “write a blog post about how you’re crushing it, your dreams to crush it, and what this phrase means to you.” My natural inclination is to be humble and thank everyone else who made the transition and new job possible (including you, universe). But that’s not helpful right now. This post is about CRUSHING IT. So I’m going to step out of character for a minute and tell you how I’m crushing it and how I plan to crush it even more tomorrow, and the day after that, and so on.

In Part 1 I wrote about the anxiety and unhappiness I developed after getting clear on what I really wanted. I felt sick as I watched from the sidelines as my true path passed by. From the day I started coach training in Dec. 2007, I knew my calling was to help people make their lives easier, one simple, practical step at a time. And in doing that, to give people the confidence and encouragement they were hungry for, to help them live their lives in a big, full way.

From a spark to a brush fire
After attending my first coach training class, I turned that spark of inspiration, that clarity of my purpose (and related activities), into a fire. I took coaching classes on my free weekends. I coached clients at night and in the early morning. I worked on 20% projects related to coaching and development that I tacked onto my existing 100% plate of responsibilities. I developed workshops for people because I had a vision and I wanted to share it. I did not ask for permission to help people. I just did. And by exercising my passion, my skills grew naturally. They had room to breathe.

When I didn’t see an immediate direct link between my passions and my job description at work, I started a blog. I figured if I built it, they would come. If I could add value, in ways big and small, you would come. And honestly, the emails and comments I receive saying I helped or inspired you move me to tears. My “keepers” bucket is so full that I get overwhelmed. And that’s how I know that I’m crushing it.

Because I feel myself crushing it. Next week I start my job – and guess what? They want to pay for my coaching certification and let me spend time on that as part of my role. I’m going to get Myers Briggs certified and facilitate classes, and work on developing other very cool career development programs. Somehow I landed my dream job, and I’m just waiting for someone at the top to find out that they are PAYING ME to do what I love. But the funny thing is, there is a need for me to do what I love at Google. So everybody wins. And that is called crushing it.

Who me? Yeah. YOU.
Just so you know – I don’t walk around floating on clouds all day – yet. That is going to change. Especially if I want to continue crushing it at bigger and bigger levels. My inner critic says things like “Don’t celebrate, the other shoe is going to drop any minute!” or “Who are you to say things like ‘you’re crushing it’?!”

And then I remind myself – playing small does not serve anyone (thank you, Marianne Williamson). It does not serve me, it does not serve you, and it does not serve the world. At first, saying I’m “crushing it” felt like playing dress-up – trying on a pair of shoes that were too big. Who, me?! Pfft! Part of crushing it is owning it and enjoying it. Whatever that means to you. So let me say it again: don’t just crush it. Own it.

Skills are cheap, passion is priceless
You want to change jobs? Start a blog? Write, dance, exercise, sing or play more? Make wine videos to educate the masses? Skills are cheap…and overrated. You probably have all the skills you need already. So face those obstacles and fears head-on and MAKE room for what you really care about in your life. Know that it won’t always be easy, nor is it supposed to be. Get out there anyway. Step fully into what you want and crush it. We’re waiting for you.

***

Here’s a preview of the Job Interview One-Sheeter template I mentioned above (for those reading via feed-reader, click here). If you like it, do me a favor and give it a rating! As mentioned in a previous post, I am building a Google Templates empire. I’ve also added a tab to my top navigation where you can access all of my templates.

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