OMG. OMFG. I am going to try to stop hyperventilating long enough to breathe and write this blog post. Suze Orman knows we exist!! That’s right, Suze FREAKING Orman, my idol of all idols. And she taped a video for Life After College!
When Orman’s media team got in touch and asked me to submit a question for her to answer via video, I was tempted to ask “HOW CAN I BE YOU?!” but came to my senses and went with something more practical (props to Lauren for suggesting the winning question via Twitter). I’m thrilled to report that she and her team came through, and that my life is now complete! Okay, well close 
The question:
A good portion of my audience would describe themselves as “Young, Fabulous and Broke” – as your book is so aptly named. What is the most important thing for recent graduates to remember as they try to balance paying bills, having fun, paying off student loans and saving for retirement? How should they prioritize all those things?
Suze’s Response (Click here to open in a new window):
Want more Suze? (How AWESOME is that black leather jacket, btw?!) Check-out her website, YouTube channel, Facebook fan page and follow her on twitter.
It’s confession time again. Remember the turtle shell mode I referenced in my post on sadness? Time to let you in on a little secret: I also hide underneath my turtle shell when I first start pursuing really big, scary, hairy goals. When a dream is so big I can barely wrap my brain around it, I don’t tell many people I’m working on it at first. I quietly make a plan, live the ups and downs as a “lone ranger,” then I poke my head out and start telling people what I’m up to once I see some signs of success on the road ahead.
You’ve heard me drop little references to a book project, but in general I know I’ve been very mysterious. I want to do better. I want to share more with you – the ups and the downs. You are here reading this blog every week, you are the audience I think about at every step, and you are the ones who have encouraged me to keep writing with every comment and every email! It’s silly for me to let my fear of failure (or fear of success) keep me from sharing more.
So what prompted this post?
Big news: I chose my literary agent this weekend!! My project feels real. It has survived self-doubt, addictive focus, a quarterlife crisis, deciding not to self-publish after months of writer’s block, upper limits, and many other twists and turns. I started writing in 2008, and finally – in February 2010 – I’m coming clean and telling you what the hell I’ve been doing all these months!
Signing with a literary agent does not make this a done deal – there is no guarantee a publisher will sign-on, that the book will sell – or any other metric of traditional success. But I want to stick my neck out and share the journey with you anyway. If I “fail”? (in quotes because I truly feel just going for it is a success) So what?! We’ll figure it out together. Plus, by saying it out loud I know I’ll have that much more momentum behind me and the project. You just try to bring us down, universe!
I know many of you have dreams to be a writer – or maybe you are just curious about how my process has gone. In Part 2 of this post, I’ll share the timeline of events that’s gotten me here: from the seed of an idea to now, which is that the book draft is written and I’m working on revising the proposal to start submitting to publishers in March.
Want the inside book scoop on an ongoing basis?
Because this blog is not about writing a book, per se – there are lots of tips, stories about my process, resources and updates I’d like to share more frequently than I am likely to post about (and somewhat more private updates too). If you are interested in following more detailed book updates, please let me know by filling out this quick form. I look forward to sharing more with you!
Earlier this week a reader wrote to me with the following question that shouted “bring it to the people!” – particularly since I’m a Libra – known to be indecisive. I’ll share some of my tips, then I would love to hear from you in the comments!
Jenny – could you write about decision making? I’m probably the most indecisive person on the planet. I’ve realized that maybe this is stemming from a much deeper problem − like an unwillingness to commit to something. It usually causes me to stress out about things that I wish I didn’t. It can range from a huge life decision “Should I graduate early?” or “Does God exist?” to “What should I make for dinner today?” or “How does this outfit look?” How do people make these decisions and why can’t i do it?!
Jenna
6 of my Decision-Making Strategies (to kick-off the brainstorming):
- Get crystal clear on your values and goals. These are your compass to keep you on track and point you in the right direction.
- Ask yourself broad but direct questions: What do I really want? What is important to me about that? What do I know in my gut to be true?
- As Martha Beck would say, focus on what feels “shackles off” versus “shackles on.” As you weigh your decision, picture yourself playing out each version. Think about what feels freeing versus suffocating. What excites you most? What factors are you considering based on fear versus based on your true values and desires? (For more: see Steering by Starlight book notes)
- Consult trusted advisers – but not too many, too early or too often. Consulting a few close advisers (friends, family or co-workers) on important decisions can give you a sounding-board for when you’re stuck. The best advisors can help you think through each aspect of a decision from a neutral place. Just be careful not to rely on them too heavily or you will end up creating so much noise that you drown out your own gut instincts.
- Get quiet so you can hear yourself think. Give yourself space to reflect – I do my best thinking/processing while running, swimming, writing and driving. What works best for you?
- Trust: trust your gut and that the right decision will become clear when you’re ready. One day you will wake up and just know. The decision will make itself at exactly the right time. Until then, try to relax a little bit.
Your turn: any advice for Jenna on how you make decisions or on how you commit to those decisions with confidence? I’m really looking forward to hearing from all of you – I have no doubt that your combined wisdom will be far more valuable than anything I could come up with on my own!
“We should bear our sorrows with greater confidence than our joys. For they are the moments when something new, something unknown, has entered into us. The more patient, quiet and open we are in our sorrowing, the more deeply and the more unhesitatingly will the new thing enter us and the better we shall deserve it.”
—Rainer Maria Rilke
As part of my year of love, I promised myself I would be more vulnerable. In life AND on this blog. As much as it scares me, I am committing to letting you in a little more – to show you the sides of me that aren’t always shiny and happy – even though for the most part I like to focus on joy, practical tips and positivity.
But alas – in the name of vulnerability, today I bring you a note on sadness. Sadness over a romantic relationship ending. I’ll leave it at that, because this post is about feelings, not details.
Processing Feelings: The Turtle Method
When I am sad, I tend to hide from the world – including my friends (and twitter followers and blog readers). 
I retreat into my turtle shell and won’t come out until I can be happy and put-together again. I’m not endorsing this method (it gets lonely) – it just happens to be my first line of defense.
Yesterday I retreated into my “I’m fine!” turtle shell, and today I feel like someone reached down from the sky and plucked the whole thing right off. Sadness exposed. Written on my face. Tears welling up at unpredictable moments (for example: as I write this in the middle of a crowded coffee shop).
And yet – I am grateful. I am happy that I’m sad, because it represents the fact that I lived and I loved and I felt alive. I am sad that the wonderful experience is over, but so happy for the connection and the countless moments of bliss.
Weather Report: Cloudy with a (very good!) Chance of Sunshine
The weather in the SF Bay Area today is grey and drizzly, with intermittent sunshine and respite from the rain. That’s exactly how I feel. Quiet and lightly sad (not the full-blown so-depressed-I-can’t-move kind), with many moments of fond memories and gratitude for everything I learned and experienced.
If I ever shunned sadness or pushed it aside, I am not doing that now. I am giving it a free pass to hang out with me today (and for as long as it needs to, really). I took it to breakfast, to coffee, on a long walk and even all the way to my blog (it should feel honored!). I know that only by letting it in – and airing it out – can I really move forward.
I am a Quote Machine (But admit it – that’s partly why you love me)
There are two Rilke quotes I send to friends when they hit rough patches. In addition to the one I shared above, they are:
“Perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses, who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave.”
“You must think that something is happening upon you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; it will not let you fall.”
—Rainer Maria Rilke
Sadness, vulnerability and love are more beautiful than I ever gave them credit for. Because they are real and raw and part of living a big full life. And so is letting people in.
So even though I’m a little sad today, don’t be too worried about me. This is nothing that eating a dozen Red Velvet Cupcakes in one sitting can’t fix!*
*Kidding. I think.
Well, folks! A small family of pigs somewhere just got their wings and learned to fly. I – Jenny Blake – blogged about the BIG SCARY L-WORD over at Ophelia’s Webb.
I am honored to be a part of Elisa Doucette’s February All You Need is Love series, in which a different blogger will pontificate on this warm fuzzy topic every day for the entire month o’ loooooove. (On that note, will one of you be my valentine? I get lonely this time of year with the Superbowl and Valentine’s Day and all…)
Here’s a sneak peek at the beginning of my post, titled Love Happens – If You Let It:
When Elisa emailed asking me to contribute a guest post for her “All You Need is Love” series, it struck a little (okay a lot of) terror in my heart. “What the HELL do I know about love?” I said out loud to the friend I was with. We both chuckled. I’m 26 and it’s no secret that my dating life often leaves – well – much to be desired in the way of passionate romance. Which is funny, because I’m like a walking feeling machine with an inner romantic so sappy it puts most RomComs to shame.
So I sat with the following questions for a few weeks before I was ready to write: What do I know about love? What do I want to say about love? Can I “add value” to this series without being sure that I’ve ever experienced true passionate, romantic, soul-connected love?
To read the rest, jump on over to Ophelia’s Webb and check it out!
Cheers – to love, light and laughter in 2010 
This is a guest post from Pierre Khawand. Pierre founded People OnTheGo in 2001 to enable business professionals to communicate and collaborate more effectively using leading edge technologies. I met Pierre at one of his fantastic productivity workshops, and was honored to be a featured guest on two of his webinars: Gen Y in the Workplace and Twitter 101.
Is Task-Hopping Holding You Back?
Does this happen to you? You start to work on a task and then casually without even noticing it, you slip into another task and let the first one just fade out and then die. This happens again after a few minutes. And then again!
Half an hour later, you don’t even remember what the original task was. Not only that, but you wonder what you got done in the last half an hour. This is what I call “task hopping.” It seems to happen more often when a task gets a little more challenging or demanding than we wish to handle at the moment or when another more enticing proposition or interruption shows up. The problem is that task hopping – unlike bar-hopping which can be fun and engaging – diminishes our ability to do creative problem solving and strategic thinking, and to get meaningful things accomplished.
In my new book The Accomplishing More With less Workbook, and the free eBook (The Results Curve™: How to Manage Focus and Collaborative Time) I illustrate the above problem using actual graphs and provide some specific steps that you can take to minimize the impact of interruptions including task hopping. One of the tools that I discuss is the use of a countdown timer when working on an important task (and when focus is of primary importance). Setting the countdown timer for 40 minutes (or whatever time period you choose) has significant productivity benefits.
The Benefits of Using a Timer to Prevent Task-Hopping
1. The timer heightens our awareness of time
Just the fact that the timer is running seems to drastically heighten our awareness of time and allow us to quickly notice when we deviate from our task. It’s as simple as that. It is fascinating that such a simple and easy tool can have such an impact on our focus, but it does.
2. The timer creates purpose
The timer helps us put a stake in the ground and declare that we have officially started the task at hand. Without such a clear signal it is easy to stay noncommittal, and for task-hopping to sneak in.
3. The timer creates accountability
Once the timer has started, in 40 minutes you will clearly know if you accomplished what you intended. The timer also helps us better estimate the time it takes to get things done in the future.
4. The timer prompts us to move things forward
Using a timer prompts us to face the issues, make decisions, and move things along as opposed to dwelling on issues and staying indefinitely in analysis/paralysis mode.
5. The timer as a stress relief mechanism
The timer signifies that we have given ourselves permission to be where we are for the time period we have chosen. Now we can more easily give up the guilt or anxiety that we would otherwise experience for not being somewhere else and not handling all the other things that need to be handled.
The Happy Sound of Accomplishment
Once you start your task timer, the happy sound of accomplishment is only 40 minutes away, and when you hear it you are likely to experience a great feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment. Give it a try and let me know how it goes!
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For more productivity tips from Pierre: follow him on twitter, check out his workbook and download his free eBook.
