Jonah Lehrer, author of How We Decide, wrote a fantastic piece for Panorama Magazine a while back about the benefits of travel. He talks about the different states of thinking we engage in while moving, and the cognitive benefits of traveling and getting out of our daily routines.
I LOVE the act of traveling for many of the reasons Lehrer describes; I do some of my best thinking, reflection, problem-solving and brainstorming while on moving vehicles – whether by bike, car, train or plane. There’s something soothing, cathartic and almost meditative about getting quiet and watching the world zoom by; with nowhere else to be and nothing else to do, my mind feels free to just relax and do its best work.
My favorite excerpts of Why We Travel:
We travel because we want to, because the annoyances of the airport are outweighed by the visceral thrill of being someplace new. Because work is stressful and our blood pressure is too high and we need a vacation. Because home is boring. Because the flights were on sale. Because Paris is Paris.
…When we escape from the place we spend most of our time, the mind is suddenly made aware of all those errant ideas we’d previously suppressed. We start thinking about obscure possibilities that never would have occurred to us. Furthermore, this more relaxed sort of cognition comes with practical advantages, especially when we’re trying to solve difficult problems.
…The larger lesson, though, is that our thoughts are shackled by the familiar. The brain is a neural tangle of near infinite possibility, which means that it spends a lot of time and energy choosing what not to notice. As a result, creativity is traded away for efficiency; we think in literal prose, not symbolist poetry. A bit of distance, however, helps loosen the chains of cognition, making it easier to see something new in the old; the mundane is grasped from a slightly more abstract perspective.
So let’s not pretend that travel is always fun, or that we endure the jet lag for pleasure…We travel because we need to, because distance and difference are the secret tonic of creativity. When we get home, home is still the same. But something in our mind has been changed, and that changes everything.
***
Speaking of travel, I am packing all my geeky tech & blogger gadgets (iPhone, Mac, Flip Cam, Moo Cards & Moleskine) and heading to Austin, Texas on Friday for the SXSW Interactive conference. I am so excited I can barely stand it! I can’t wait to finally meet so many people I’ve known virtually through Twitter and blogging (some for over two years!) in person. If you are going and want to meet for cupcakes, coffee or a beer – definitely let me know (and/or follow me on Plancast).
I recently did a short 2-minute video for the upcoming Gen-Y Panel at SXSWi 2010 – Why Gen Y Wants to Work ‘With’ You, Not ‘For’ You (led by Ben Smithee, Elysa Rice, Nisha Chittal, Ryan Paugh, and Sydney Owen). In this video I talk about different ways people think about Career Development and give tips to Gen Y employees (and their managers) about how to have effective Career Development conversations.
Bottom-line for employees: YOU own your career. No one else is going to do it for you.
Bottom-line for managers: Take the time to check-in with your employees; schedule career development conversations at least 1-2 times per year.
Click here to open in a new window, or watch other great videos on the GenY panel website.
My Thoughts on Career Development for Gen Y:
What’s important to you – as an individual or a manager – when it comes to career development (and career-related conversations)?
If I ever do learn to cook (one day mom, I promise!), I'm starting with this thing.
It’s time for another Crock-Pot post (yes, I just made that up): sometimes I get hit with so many unrelated miscellaneous links, articles, and cool things to share that I decide to throw it all into a big stew and serve it up. Bon appetite!
Happy Thoughts – Delivered Daily
I’m a sucker for daily inspirational emails, quotes or thoughts. Three lists I’ve been enjoying lately:
- The Daily Love – “Wisdom with Style” (Quotes on love and happiness)
- Positive Quote of the Day (Short, simple email with a great thought to start each day)
- TUT – Notes from the Universe (funny, wise and widely-known list)
I particularly appreciated today’s TUT Note (thank you Ruth Ann for sharing it!):
“Of all the things that matter, Jenny, that really and truly matter, working more efficiently and getting more done, is not among them.
Chill,
The UniverseAnd, quite accidentally, Jenny, such an appreciation leads to greater efficiency and more productivity. Not that that really matters.”
Other great stuff around the web:
- Colin Wright’s eBook, How to be Remarkable (the Least You Need to Know). Incredibly well done with powerful advice – a must-read!
- Matt Cheuvront’s Epiphany Moment video series (featuring yours truly)
- The full round-up of posts for Elisa Doucette’s February “All You Need is Love” series
- The reader comments on my Help a Reader Out: How Do You Make Decisions post: TONS of fantastic, insightful tips.
- My Dad’s Blog! I couldn’t be prouder. My dad and I take walks every Sunday and talk about life – I’m so excited that he’s now sharing all of his great stories, theories and art with the rest of the world!
- I signed-up for Formspring – ask me anything and I’ll answer (but keep it friendly and SFW, people!)
- There are lots more articles I find interesting (on writing, psychology, happiness, humor and more) on Delicious
My Policy on Book Reviews – and Live a Life You Love: Book Giveaway Winner
I’ve implemented a new policy on this blog for book reviews (on books that others send to me, not ones I choose myself). In the name of transparency, I’m sharing it with all of you:
- I will only review books if I get two copies – one for me and one to give away to my readers; It’s no fun if I’m the only one getting a free book!
- I will only agree to someone sending me a book in the first place if I find the description captivating. The book should meet at least one of the following criteria: useful/beneficial to me and my readers, related to topics I blog about, or fun/unique in some way.
- I reserve the right to decide whether to write a blog post on the book until after reading it (at which point I can discern whether a majority of my readers will learn or benefit in some way).
- Am I missing anything?
With that, I’m excited to announce that Clara is the winner of the Live a Life You Love book giveaway. Congrats, and thanks so much to everyone who commented to enter!
OK Go’s AWESOME New Music Video – This Too Shall Pass
I leave you with one final pick-me-up: OK Go’s new music video – it’s colorful, playful, creative, and just pure genius. (Plus – the contraptions remind me of the booby traps from The Goonies, one of my all time favorite movies.) Enjoy!
“Periods of recovery are likewise intrinsic to creativity and to intimate connection. Sounds become music in the spaces between notes, just as words are created by the spaces between letters. It is in the spaces between that love, friendship, depth and dimension are nurtured.”
—Jim Loehr
I live a life that I am incredibly grateful for; a life full of activities, work, people and fun. And yet, particularly at times of transition, my life seems overcome by emptiness. Empty spaces that are at first unwelcome, but ultimately absolutely necessary.
How my empty spaces show up
A familiar feeling started sweeping over me yesterday as I dropped my friend off after coffee. I got a lump in my throat, a sense of dread as I drove back to my empty house, where there was no one waiting for me. I love my condo – I bought it two years ago and I live alone. On most days, I am incredibly thankful for my solitude and personal space. But as I drove home yesterday with no plans for Saturday night (intentional because I’ve been sick), a feeling of total emptiness consumed me. I felt taunted by the running to-do list in my mind, of all the projects I could be working on but didn’t want to start.
My eyes welled up with tears and voices started sneering in the back of my mind. “See? You can’t be alone. You say you’re happy by yourself but you’re not. This is proof.” I know that voice is wrong (given that 99 percent of the time I am THRILLED to live alone and have time to myself), but I also know that in those moments of near-panic, if I can just get past them, there are deeper truths waiting.
1. Physical messages: When your body talks, listen.
I got really sick this week. I was extremely fatigued – no amount of sleep seemed to be enough. I saw this coming from a mile away. I know I’ve been running myself into the ground.
On more than one occasion in the last month, I’ve had to stop in the stairwell at work and just breathe. In those moments, my eyes would grow wide and I would get struck with the sudden urge to drop every single project, task and friend I had committed anything to. To completely cancel my schedule, my projects and my to-do lists, because it was all too overwhelming. I didn’t run away and I don’t plan to. But I also can’t continue operate at a pace that makes me feel that way on a regular basis.
I believe our physical health is a reflection of our mental and emotional states of mind. Our bodies are smart. They know what we need. My body demanded this week that I bring my crazy life to a screeching halt and re-adjust. Get my emotional ducks in a row. Re-prioritize and give myself permission to take a time out. And in those time outs, to allow myself to sink into the empty spaces of my life. The spaces that are not filled with activities or people – just me. I tend to avoid them because they can feel lonely – very lonely – at first.
2. Break-ups: Empty on overdrive
When I slow down, particularly after a break-up and when the weekend comes, I notice empty spaces in the day that weren’t there before. Where I was once laughing and smiling, replaying a fun conversation or looking forward to a future one, there is now nothing. Nothing but quiet.
In an effort to avoid the emptiness, I might make phone calls or refresh my email inbox, twitter stream and feed reader. I seek distractions to shove in the empty spaces that I know I am avoiding. But deep down, I know that none of those things are going to bring back the giddy excitement drug that I was so used to taking. I know that the only way out is through — to be quiet, and to let the emptiness exist. To be patient with myself and pay attention to what I truly want and need. And to suffer through the empty spaces instead of stuffing them with temporary relief instead.
3. Big goals: The bigger the project, the bigger the spaces
As you know from recent posts, I am back to working on my giant goal, THE goal of my life. Writing a book is one of the projects that I feel I was born to do.
During the week I fantasize about working on my book on weekends; spending time alone in coffee shops or in front of my fireplace, writing. Oooooh, aahhhh. So romantic. But when the moment comes to sit down and get to work, I feel intimidated by the emptiness. I am reminded that I am working on this project alone. That at the end of the day, its success depends on me – on my ideas and my commitment. The empty spaces return.
What do red flags, break-ups and big goals have in common?
Empty spaces show up when activities stop. They show up when a relationship ends, and when a big, important project is on the horizon. Empty spaces can be scary, lonely, and sad at first. They can feel paralyzing. But when the empty spaces show up – if we let them – that is exactly when our lives get quiet enough to make room for what is next.
So make the hard choices. Walk through the fire. Sit with your empty spaces and see what happens.
***
P.S. What did I end up doing with my Saturday night? I lit a fire in the fireplace; bought a delicious salad, dark chocolate and a mocha (with whip!) for dinner; put Sex and the City on in the background; cleaned-up an old pile of clutter (clear space, clear mind) and yes – worked on my book. Empty space – SURVIVED. And you know what? After I panicked and wrote this blog post – I really started enjoying it. 
Dr. Susan Biali
Two years ago, when my parents and friends were my only blog subscribers and I had just started coaching, a woman named Susan Biali commented on my blog with a note of encouragement.
When I saw that she was a flamenco-dancing doctor, life-coach, author AND speaker who split her time living between Mexico and Canada? I almost fell out of my chair. She was (and still is) LIVING. THE. DREAM. A version of my dream. The one in which I become an author-speaker-life coach-entrepreneur-extraordinaire; inspiring others while living a balanced, healthy, passionate life.
Susan has done more than inspire me these last two years. She has shown me the true meaning of generosity. Generosity of spirit. Generosity of time. Generosity of giving people one of the greatest gifts in the world: believing in them, and lifting them up when times get tough.
- Generosity is having a big full life, and sending a note to a no-name blogger.
- Generosity is writing one year later, sending that same blogger an email just to say hello, this time bursting from the seams with praise, support and encouragement.
- Generosity is agreeing to a phone call in the middle of a full schedule of speaking, traveling, writing and publishing a book.
- Generosity is proactively offering to have MONTHLY calls to support that blogger’s dreams, even while working so hard on her own.
- Generosity is sending two copies of her new book with hand-written notes on the inside, then making time for a call right in the middle of the book promotion frenzy.
- Generosity is offering help…even when the other person doesn’t quite know how to ask.
Don’t forget what a gift your time and attention is – and the difference it can make in someone else’s life.
Live a Life You Love: 7 Steps to a Healthier, Happier, More Passionate You
In her book, Live a Life You Love, Susan says “People first, life later.” She means it, and her generosity with me is proof of that.
Susan’s book – aside from leaving me brimming with pride and sheer joy for her success – has lifted me up after a physically and emotionally exhausting week. I picked it up and couldn’t put it down. It felt like Susan was sitting right next to me, reminding me of all the things that truly matter in life.
From the last chapter: “Under all the stress, fear, failures, and wrong choices you might have made in your life, you know who you really are, and how you’re meant to live. I hope I’ve successfully reminded you of how totally original you are, how worthy of love you are, how brilliant and wonderful your body is, and what you you need to thrive.”
Susan achieves her mission with flying colors in this book. She is vulnerable, relatable and wise. Her “gold dust” (our word for radiating joy and energy) sparkles on every page, and her generosity – which extends far beyond this book – has been a true gift to me (and many others).
With that, I am thrilled to share a signed copy with one of you! Just leave me a comment by the end of the day on Sunday, and I’ll pick a winner through Random.org early next week.
As Susan says, “May you live a life rich in meaning, health and happiness!” Wherever you are starting from this week, may you take one step closer to all three.
Happy Friday everyone
In Part 1 of this post I shared some big news: I now have a literary agent! I also promised to tell you more about how I got to this point. I’m warning you now – this post is long.
Before we jump in: I’ll continue to give periodic book updates on this blog, but if you want more detailed resources, tips and stories on a regular basis (delivered via email no more than 1-2x/mo) sign-up here.
Life After College Book Project: Timeline of Events (Get comfortable!)
“If all you can do is crawl, start crawling.”
−Rumi
1. Sept 2008 – Getting the Guts to Start
A fellow life after college blogger (and amazing woman), ChaChanna, got in touch asking me to post a link to her book on my website. I immediately felt pangs of jealousy and replied with, “I admire you for jumping in. I’ve been wanting to write a book for a while now, but I keep getting stuck on ‘it’s already been written,’ which I know sounds silly.”
That was the first time I had even uttered the words out loud: I’ve been wanting to write a book. “For a while?” TRY MY WHOLE LIFE. ChaChanna wrote back and said, “Go ahead and write your book. The topic may have been written already but it hasn’t been written by you!” For those words I will be forever grateful; they inspired my first “Aha! maybe I can do this” moment.
2. Dec 2008/January 2009 – The Burst of Inspiration and Hyper-Productivity
“When I face the desolate impossibility of writing 500 pages, a sick sense of failure falls on me, and I know I can never do it. Then gradually, I write one page and then another. One day’s work is all that I can permit myself to contemplate.”
−John Steinbeck
Struck with a wave of inspiration, I took two weeks off over the holidays to start writing. After the break, I spent many weekends alone on Friday nights and holed up in coffee shops to produce the first ROUGH, rough draft of my book.
I describe my book as “Twitter meets What Color is Your Parachute for every area of your life.” It is not a narrative – it’s a compilation of tips, quotes, advice and exercises for many aspects of someone’s Life After College (similar to my blog). I spent most of my time gathering and assembling blog posts, quotes from college grads, quotes from famous people, books I’ve read and coaching exercises.
I felt high on life! I was in the zone, productive and happy. Nothing could bring me down; I was going to get this book in graduates’ hands by Spring of 2009, rain or shine! HAH. Or so I thought. Little did I know at the time, it wouldn’t be out by 2010 either.
3. February 2009 to June 2009 – The Dip (aka: You couldn’t PAY ME to open the Word doc with my book in it)
Once I finished the first draft of my book I debated whether to self-publish or go the traditional route. I thought I wanted to self-publish (deep down because I was afraid of rejection from publishers) until the thought of hiring an editor, designer and printer sent me into complete paralysis.
I got hit with this unbelievable sense of writer’s block – except that it permeated the whole project. I didn’t even open the damn Word file for five months. FIVE MONTHS! At the same time, I found myself experiencing a serious quarterlife crisis, job-related depression, and a major dip in confidence. While it was important to “feel my feelings” and give myself space to slow down and take stock of my life, self-doubts continued holding me back, particularly the fear that I was not capable of publishing a successful book. I was in no shape to be creative, nor did I have an ounce of energy to spend on what felt like an insurmountable behemouth of a side-project.
